They could seriously just call them “plenty” and stop lying to folks.

Ikr! A damn fool is what he is.

Smooth Danielle, smooth.

No I did not imply that Toriano Adaryll Jackson was a bum. I SAID he was and honestly I’m ashamed of myself for doing it and I owe the man an apology. <Sniff><Sniff> So please TheHostileNegress quit teasing me and Jermaine, go get me a tissue.

It’s worse when women do it too. This woman at work who I don’t know that well was all, “So why aren’t you married?” And I said, “I don’t plan to get married.” And she said, “So you haven’t found the right person yet.” And I said, “No. I decided I don’t want to get married.” And she said, “There’s someone for…

I never liked him anyway. Pretty motherfucker.

I would have also accepted “Every Little Thing That I Steal”

If you want the Costco cigarette availability conspiracy theory you’re gonna have to talk to my dad. Nothing strikes terror in the heart of man like a hirsute arab with a cart full of toiletpaper and milk shouting about the supply and demand economics of Dunhill cigarettes.

Like 5 years ago I was walking down the street thinking about nothing in particular, when, like Paul walking down the road, I had a sudden epiphany: Laura on Family Matters SUCKED. Like, for no reason whatsoever.

Excuse me. I have died. Be back later.

“How does one request a Sherman Helmsley?”

Word was definitely an oversight. Because in Bed Stuy, you may not be around long enough to hear the inflection of that question mark.

Also: “That’s how you feel?”

“Oh fo-real?”

Clapping really does change things

This asshole is going to get us blown up before I get to see Black Panther and the conclusion of Game of Thrones.

She’s 50 years old and just had a baby like 6 months ago. Can she live?

Naw...naw...I ain’t crying this early in the morning...

Thank you! I’m so tired of old folks shitting on virtually anything and everything young ppl enjoy. Whatever tho, it’s their loss.

Or if you’re in Polk, Lake or Sumter Counties…