Today in Whatchu Not Gon Do: Put your hands on my toilet paper. Just a matter of time before someone comes up with something...

Why are managers so consistently gotdamn stupid?????

Half-fro - I like it! I was thinking it was more like an old fashioned sardine can that’s half rolled open. But Half-fro has a ring to it.

Don’t pretend you’ve never wondered how a haircut is requested lol I loved Sherman, but there were a lot of questions surrounding that drop top hair.

Yes but the issue is so much more than Bigen. It’s about how some of these haircuts even happen?

Also crazytown resident (OCD and hypochondria - yes, they are slightly different). About to quit my drug dealer now because all she wants to do is force me into a higher dose of pill x - but I wanna get OFF that shit, not further on it, jerk.

Can someone let this man know that tooth whitening is a thing? Look like his breath smells like coffee and lint. Yes, lint.

Are all of these people just trying to get fired or what? #whywouldyouputthatonsocial #justkeepbeingquietlyracistinstead #coleyoustupid

When are we gonna get the article we deserve blowing open the issue of suspect hairlines???

I honestly don’t know what happened. I legit don’t even remember everything I said. I just know I had to leave.

“You know what” in general is a bad look. Usually more of a pre-departure statement, but can be a pre-lose it statement...

I had to clap the other week. It was so terrible :(

“So this is what we’re doing” is also another scary one, but it depends on the inflection. Like, a regular voice could be wolf ticket.

Now see, I feel like more threatening than the “Word” with head nod is “Word” with hands crossed low across the front of their body - thusly

a Huddle House (a bootleg, better-tasting Waffle House* fight me *)<<<<<<<<<<<< WHERE YOU STAY SON?????? WHERE *CLAP* YOU *CLAP* STAY *CLAP*??????

“You got me effed up”/ “What you not gon do” is accurate, but you should probably addend that when either is accented with a claps, things really just got to a nuclear level.

I’m actually much more bothered by the ambiguity of his shape up.

I’ll grant you that every white person on Earth isn’t doing it but if you’ve never seen cotton stalks used as decoration you are either not in the South or not looking. I’ve seen them for sale at Target Hobby Lobby Amazon and the below

I literally saw some at a food conference just yesterday but I also live in Atlanta

Yeah I agree. Cotton stalks are pretty common white people decoration and southerners love them some soul food.