I would also like to see this worstness scale AMENDED to add "getting your underwear stuck in your butt" which is among the worst things ever.

Well I for one - speaking as a black woman - am GLAD this article finally outed us as black men in wigs.

Random thought I've had for years: What in the FUCK is up with calling people "white boys" and "white girls"?

Wrong. I'm on the lady-lovin' side and I definitely went out with a white butch COP at that who implied that I could probably "fold her in half."

AMEN to that! I was wondering when someone would outpoint how bizarre it is for someone to think "grandma" means the AARP card is in the mail. I have a friend who was 13 when she had her kid. Luckily the kid din't have a kid at that age but if he did, you guessed it, she would have been a 26-year-old grandma.

"What do we know about this girl, her life, and her future?"

Being "blamed" for not producing an heir is the least of her worries. She'd better holler at Anne Bolyn and them - England's itchin' for another beheading. Don't like limeys!

In a stunning last-minute development, "Purple Paradise" pulled ahead to seal the win, single handedly raising the profile of Ace bandage milliners the world over.

No shade toward my across the pond sisters in the (losing) journo struggle, but I've always assumed everything I see in the British press is completely made up.

I think Osama's people used a similar device to elicit classified information from American journalists...

I concur. I went to a Korean spa where you have to be naked to use the hip pools. I didn't have a problem with it and it was really liberating. You were like, nakey. I can't explain it.

Aww HELL naw.

Casting aside my concerns over his caretakers apparent lack of mammary support mechanisms...

You know, I feel like we went ahead and assassinated the guy. And as hurt as I was by 9/11, I don't feel like that was right.

Well glad we answered that pressing question. Now riddle me this: What in the Area 51 hell is the thing being measured in the picture heading this article? Am I the only one concerned and confused by the appearance of that torso??

This is the perfect excuse to post GANGSTA TIGGAAAAZ! Now I"m not saying these adorable bundles of fur and destruction will kill you. Katt Williams is!

Oh I saw a cat's penis. It is NOT something you want to see.

I know I do!

So THAT'S why my "Help me get rich by giving me your money!" infomercials never took off.

So here comes your lezzie comment of the day: