michael-arceneaux
Michael Arceneaux
michael-arceneaux
Michael Arceneaux is the author of "I Can't Date Jesus," which will be released July 24, 2018 by Atria Books/Simon & Schuster, but go ahead and pre-order it now.

Once again, these old white men felt compelled to interrupt Sen. Harris’ questioning, trying to portray as angry and/or aggressive. Meanwhile, segregation now, segregation forever is the one getting testy and sassy.

“I’m not able to be rushed this fast. It makes me nervous.” Put Jeff Sessions in white rice.

Shorter Sen. Harris: Can you tell that I know how full of shit you are?

Sen. Tom Cotton is a high grade level of annoying with his mocking of the investigation by asking, “Do you like Jason Borne or James Bond movies?” But thankfully, it’s Kamala time.

“I don’t recall. I don’t recall. I don’t recall. I don’t recall.”

Sen. Lankford managed to not actually ask a question during his minutes of questioning. But you know, some of the kids live for a monologue. And ass kissing.

Sessions claims to have never received a detailed briefing on Russia’s meddling in the 2016 election and never asked for one. Insert your “USA! USA! USA!” chant here.

Sen. King hates when you do not answer questions. To that end, Sessions just confirmed that 45 hasn’t asserted executive privilege. Let him tell it, though, “I am protecting the right of the president to assert it if he chooses.”

Sen. Blunt is behaving like he’s Sessions’ defense lawyer. Or his lover and his secretary, working every day of the week.

If we played a drinking game based on the number of times Sessions said he didn’t remember or couldn’t recall something, we all would have died 45 mins ago.

Fed up Sen. Heinrich to Sessions: “You are obstructing a congressional investigation.”

Sessions to Lou Dobbs during the presidential campaign: “[Comey has] done what his duty is, I think. He’s got evidence to go forward now with further criminal investigation. He has no other responsibility than to follow that and then tell the American people what he’s doing.”

The guy who didn’t recuse himself until the press reported about his undisclosed contacts with Russian officials keeps saying he decided to recuse himself on “day one.” I don’t know who Sessions thinks he’s fooling, but just because you speak in Mayberry doesn’t mean we have to believe it.

“This is a secret innuendo being leaked out there about me and I don’t appreciate it.” —- Jeff Sessions (feel free to laugh)

Sen. Wyden to Jeff Sessions: You mad, sweetie?

“Sen. Wyden, I am not stonewalling.” -— Jeff Sessions, two-stepping right by the truth

Sen. Ron Wyden, already trying to shake the table.

Sessions won’t say whether Minute Maid Mao asked everyone besides Comey to leave Oval Office, citing confidentiality of presidential communications. Insert eye roll here.