As others have said, mental health treatment in America is only for the middle class. If you’re poor, you can’t afford it. If you’re rich, you can reshape reality enough to avoid ever feeling like you need treatment. That seems to be what Kanye’s doing. Might explain some of his affinity for Trump, they’re kindred…

Thank you for this. 

This was extremely enlightening. I have two nieces (sisters) who both are bi-polar. When the older one started experiencing the symptoms she was in university. She began to ‘act out’ in inexplicable ways. A diagnosis was a long time coming for her but eventually she received the help she needed. The younger sister was…

I really love your writing.

It seems like gaining insight is easier when you have people or circumstances that run counter to your grandiose delusions. It seems next to impossible if for your entire adult life, you’ve had people and circumstances confirming your grandiosity.

I’ve heard several people say “I don’t like taking my meds. It makes me feel like ‘not me’”.

After his mom died it was clear to me something in him changed. I didn’t know what, but the way he acted and talked seemed much less sober and grounded. I did stop buying his albums and paying attention, I couldn’t anymore, it was depressing. I didn’t know what was going on, I thought maybe it was trauma from his mom…

Bi-polar is a perfect excuse to never be accountable for anything, ever.  In my own experience, learning everything I could about it, and ultimately choosing to not use the label as a crutch or excuse for me failing to acknowledge, prepare and deal with in a proper way, how my brain functions differently.  How…

I can relate to much of this article. I never had opportunity for children of my own, including medical issues. Just before I turned 50, I married someone with children. He was widowed so the situation was unusual. We have had to grow together as a family. I consider this family my gift and all my mom instincts have…

Danielle, I really connected with your article. I have dealt with depression my whole life, with some periods of self-destructive manic episodes. I was a serial dater, but never actually expected to get married. I didn’t want kids when I was young - I just focused on my career and trying to be happy with myself, which…

Thank you for writing this! I’ve never heard of anyone else who was brought up like this. In our family it was a little bit more weird—it was assumed that my sisters would get married and that I’d have a career, probably taking over our dad’s medical practice. That was symbolized by the fact that they each had queen…

I feel this so much, thank you for sharing! I’m 39 and after a divorce, depression, the death of my best friend, I’ve only just gotten to the point where I feel I have the belief in myself that I _could_ be a mother, which always stopped me before (I also think the alarm of my fertility is blaring and it’s hard to…

I read this when it was first posted and basically just cried. Hours later, I just feel this so much. I always loved babies and children but also never grew up with any illusions of what parenting actually is. My mother sacrificed her whole life for us while my dad worked full time at his job and then came home and…

Danielle, this is so good to read. I want to hug you while still conveying my thanks and admiration of this article. you are amazing and we’re here with you. Fuck corona (the virus not the beer) for tossing us in the deep end of existential regret.

I had my only child at 41, and I love being a mother, but I would likely be living a much better life if I hadn’t. Most men don’t help much. 

Parental control of adult offspring is a real issue. I didn’t date until I owned a house with my own money. I was discouraged from marriage too, but I had enough miles of highway to form a sufficient barrier of independence.

This is quite timely as I’ve just talked to an OBGYN about fertility issues this week. I’m 35 and was pretty much never in a spot for kids before this (though for much more “of my own making” problems, mostly around not having enough money and a solid relationship.)

I never really longed for kids. I ended up in a relationship late in life with a person who didn’t really want kids. I would have been willing if my partner wanted kids but he didn’t. Now it’s too late and my poor mother (who has never bothered me to have kids) has no grandkids...me and my sibling are both childless.…

My story is really similar... I faced a lot of stability and mental health issues into my 30's. Ended up married at 36 and decided to try for a baby at 40 and I'm having my second now at 43. It's not always too late, anecdotally.

Thank you for writing this. I grieved over the loss of my fertility around age 40, even though I had not been particularly keen on having kids. And I kept that to myself, as everyone in my life believes that I “decided” not to to have children, and I don’t want to destroy that illusion. It’s bad enough being pitied…