A story about a woman who goes on a girl’s trip to Martha’s Vineyard and becomes romantically involved with a Secret Service agent assigned to protect former President Barack Obama may sound like the start of a juicy romance novel. But for Koryeah Dwanyen, it’s a chapter from her real-life romantic past and the subject of her new self-published memoir.
In “Undercover Heartbreak: a Memoir of Trust and Trauma,” Dwanyen writes about her relationship with one of Obama’s former Secret Service agents and how he breached security protocol, using his access to the family’s Hawaii vacation home in his attempt to sweep her off her feet.
In an exclusive interview with The Root, Dwanyen shared how what she called a “serendipitous meet-cute” turned into a relationship overshadowed by deception – and how writing about it all helped her heal.
Dwanyen’s story with the man she refers to as “Dale” began with a chance meeting at a restaurant during a trip she took to Martha’s Vineyard with friends.
“We were at a reception and in walks this swarm of men in suits. We realized they were Secret Service, and then in walks Michelle, Barack, Questlove and a bunch of other celebrities,” she said.
Dwanyen said that meeting with “Dale” left her wanting more, so after he gave his number to one of her friends to have her call him, she didn’t hesitate to reach out and the two made plans to meet for breakfast the next day. But although he was attractive and charming, she wanted to take her time, as she had just ended a relationship that left her cautious about falling in love again.
While she noticed some red flags along the way, she didn’t always go with her gut. As they got to know one another, Dwanyen says she was often thrown by some of “Dale’s” unconventional behavior, including the time he invited her to join him at the Obama family’s vacation home in Hawaii while they were away – even suggesting they have sex in the former First Lady’s bathroom - an offer she quickly declined.
“I’m not going to lie, I felt gross,” she said. “I’m not being invited here and I felt like I was an intruder and I could get in trouble, but he was just like, ‘I’ll give you a tour and we’ll just hang out and watch football. If anything, you’re not going to get in trouble. It would be me.”
Dwanyen said she kept her concerns at bay as she found herself falling for “Dale.”
“I didn’t have the most ideal examples of what a healthy relationship looks like and what loving yourself first looks like,” she said. “There were clear as day red flags where the universe was in my face and I kept telling myself ‘I can help him. I can fix him.’”
But the last straw, she said, was when he admitted during one of their vacations to wanting to kill the woman he referred to as his ex-wife.
“He told me that he wanted to choke her to death and watch her take her last breath. Then he asked me in a very eerie way if I’d ever thought about killing somebody and if I did, how I would do it,” she said. “He wasn’t the person I knew and I knew something was off.”
When she returned from the trip, Dwanyen and some of her girlfriends dug a little deeper into “Dale’s” backstory and learned that he was still legally married and living in the home with this wife and son. When she confronted “Dale” with the truth, Dwanyen says he threatened to kill himself, his wife and her, which led her to end things and contact the authorities. An internal investigation by the Secret Service led to “Dale’s” termination.
“As soon as the Secret Service became aware of the incident, the agent involved was immediately suspended and after a full investigation, terminated,” Anthony Guglielmi, a spokesperson for the United States Secret Service said in a statement. “Although the protectees were not present at the time of the incident, these actions were an unacceptable violation of our protocols, our protectees’ trust, and everything we stand for.”
While Dwanyen says sharing her story has been an important step in her healing process, she hopes it will also help others who are suffering in silence.
“Although there are some unique aspects to [my story], I don’t know that it is any different than others out there,” she said. “But I do feel like I am every woman, and sometimes it can be helpful to see ourselves in another woman to know that if you are stuck, there’s an opportunity for you to move forward and there is a light at the end of the tunnel.”