After retiring from the NFL, former players have myriad options at their disposal. They can become noteworthy commentators, like Tony Romo and Deion Sanders; pursue coaching, like the Herm Edwards and Sean Paytons of the world; or they can burn jerseys in their front yard, like Adam “Pacman” Jones.
Pacman isn’t exactly a stranger to questionable behavior, as he spent a significant portion of his career serving as tabloid fodder, but I had no idea moonlighting as the Human Torch was his ministry.
However, a cursory glance at his Instagram page reveals that on Wednesday, somebody thought it would be a good idea to mail a box full of signed Joe Haden jerseys to a dude who used to hit people for a living.
“Opened up my mailbox today and I had these jerseys in my mailbox,” he says in the video, as he digs through the box. “I don’t know what the fuck y’all got going on, but I’m not with it. So what I’ma do is, I’ma show y’all how gangsta I am. Whoever sent these fuck-ass, Haden Pittsburgh jerseys, all these bitches bout to get fired up.”
He then proceeds to channel his inner arsonist and do exactly that.
“This shit needs to go viral,” he sneers, as he douses one of the jerseys with lighter fluid. “Cause I don’t even play with niggas.”
He then pulls out a lighter and transforms a series of jerseys into the back of Flavor Flav’s neck. It’s quite the sight to behold.
“Why y’all playing?” he taunts. “Y’all bitch ass niggas better go find something to play with. Fuck you too, Joe Haden, and whatever you stand for, bitch ass nigga.”
Well, OK then.
In response to the clip, Joe Haden posted a series of screenshots in his Instagram Stories of friendly text message exchanges between the two in the past, as well as a video declaring he had no idea where those jerseys even came from.
“You think I really would go out of my way to send signed Haden jerseys?” Haden said. “No. I know you, Pacman. We’ve run into each other lots of times. I’ve got respect for you. That’s just wild. I would never do something like that. I just did an autograph signing. I don’t know how it went to your crib. That’s not something I would do ever, bro. It just is what it is.”
Haden also included the following screenshot of them seemingly squashing the issue.
This is a much better resolution than Pacman catching another case.
Whoever sent those jerseys might want to go into witness protection though. Because once Pacman finds you, there’s a 98.4 percent chance that it won’t end well.