White Cop to Black Kids: ‘Wait Till Your Asses Turn 18. Then You’re Mine’

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Image for article titled White Cop to Black Kids: ‘Wait Till Your Asses Turn 18. Then You’re Mine’
Screenshot: WWBT

The first sentence of this story should read: “A Virginia police officer is under fire after he was captured on video insinuating that he can’t wait to subject a group of black middle school children to the horrors of the criminal justice system.”

But that would not be true.

In fact, the Richmond, Va., police officer-turned macabre soothsayer is most assuredly not under fire. The second paragraph of a story like this would usually reveal the officer’s name and explain how the police department disciplined the obviously biased officer, but don’t worry, the officer is perfectly fine. He is protected. Absolutely nothing has changed.

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According to NBC News, the Richmond Police Department launched an internal investigation after 13-year-old Cameron Hillard, a student at Albert Hill Middle School in Richmond, Va., shared a clip of a police officer yelling out his cruiser window to a group of students.

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In the video posted to Facebook, the students are walking to an afterschool activity when the cop, whom the Richmond Police Department confirmed was white, pulled up in front of the students.

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“Someone said a curse word ... like ‘F-the police.’” Cameron said. “It wasn’t me and my friends but he didn’t know who said it so he asked who said it.

“Even if we did say that, that’s our choice of words,” someone apparently smarter than the unnamed cop says in the video. Another person says “Yes sir,” which prompts the officer to reveal his hopes and dreams to the teens.

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“Wait till your asses turn 18,” yells the officer. “Then you’re mine!”

And then, having fulfilled his civic duty of protecting and serving, he drove off.

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In a statement, Richmond Police Interim Chief William C. Smith apologized to the students and said that the department launched an internal investigation into the incident after they were made aware of the video. When law enforcement officials concluded the investigation, they punished the officer harshly by assigning him to another part of the city and ... well, that’s it.

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“His actions do not reflect the values, training, or policies of the department,” said Smith of the officer whose name was withheld. “While these facts don’t minimize the incident, they do give you the totality of the person.”

Of course they don’t. There are a lot of things we don’t know about the anonymous ass-claimer. No one knows if he wears boxers or briefs. The short video also does not indicate whether or not he likes Brussels sprouts. Perhaps he was playing an augmented reality game on his phone, attempting to catch the elusive and rare Negro Pokemon.

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However, the footage does show that there’s an officer who works for the Richmond Police Department who can barely wait for the day when he can subject black children to his ill intent. Of course, it is possible that the policeman was only referring to those specific children, in which case, it totally makes sense to just send him to the other side of town. Richmond is only 48.2 percent black, so I’m sure no other children are in danger.

On a positive note, the officer finally answered a question that has gone unanswered for decades.

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Now we know: A dream deferred does not dry up like a raisin in the sun. Neither does it fester like a sore—and then run. However, it does stink like rotten meat ... But only until our children black asses turns 18.

Unless, of course, someone like this officer in the Richmond Police Department with a gun, badge and the full authority of the law just “can’t wait.”