It’s a hard truth, but the LGBTQ+ community hasn’t always been accepted or respected by Black folks. Some of the discrimination comes from religious beliefs, while a big part of it is a lack of understanding. For comedian Tommy Davidson, the journey to understanding is something he’s still working on with his transgender son. Following in his “In Living Color” co-star Marlon Wayans’ footsteps, during a candid conversation on the “Touré Show,” the actor/comedian explained the emotional evolution of his relationship with his son.
He revealed that his son came out to him when they were 15, explaining that this is who they really are. As he describes this moment, Tommy refers to his child as “she,” with Touré correcting him to a “he” pronoun. The actor explains that they were a “she” then, but now they’re a “he.”
Davidson says he wasn’t surprised, but that didn’t make the shift in their relationship any easier. What makes this discussion so fascinating is how open Tommy is about the difficulties he’s faced as he adjusts to his son’s new life. Their conversation begins around the 11:29 mark in the video.
“It took me a while to wrap my mind around that. Me and my wife, we had a child. We found out that child was a girl, so we prepared for what a girl is to us,” he said. “Now, we prepared for a little boy. We prepared for what a little boy is to us. What that is to the person who wants to change their gender is the only thing it is different.”
“The Proud Family” actor knew transgender people growing up and had interacted with the LGBTQ+ community from a young age. The first time he saw a transgender person, he asked his mother if they were a man or woman, to which she replied, “he’s kind of both.” With these life experiences behind him, he has been able to handle the situation better than most, but that doesn’t mean there aren’t still issues.
Tommy confessed that calling his son Jerzey by his chosen name and not his dead name has been a tough transition for him, revealing that his slip ups occasionally cause tension between them.
“It’s not surprising to me, but it is a little disturbing at times. To get angry at me for not understanding 100 percent and not giving me the time to do so,” he said.
As an experienced comedian, Tommy also had thoughts on Dave Chappelle’s controversial comments about transgender people, with Touré wondering if the comedy legend is telling his audience “It’s okay to laugh at trans people” Tommy admits he can’t speak for Dave, noting that his brand of comedy focuses on “similarities,” not “differences.”
As understanding as Davidson has been with his son, their journey hasn’t been perfect, which is something other parents in similar situations can take aways from this conversation. Acceptance is easy, understanding takes time and work on both sides.