It’s been a game of ping-pong ever since Kevin Hart announced he was hosting the Oscars, then dropped out once an old homophobic tweet surfaced, then went on The Ellen DeGeneres Show to “consider” hosting again, then appeared on subsequent talk shows to proselytize his philosophy on doing as little as possible to atone due to his personal annoyance.
And a partridge in a pear tree.
According to Variety, after a difficult search, the Academy is leaning toward having no hosts and will instead feature a rotating line of stars to present the different segments throughout the show. This will be the first time the Academy Awards ceremony has run without a designated host in nearly three decades.
“Why not give it a shot? Things are so polarized anyway, any host that says anything will be analyzed to death,” proposed Brad Adgate, a media consultant. “No host might be an experiment, and, let’s face it, the days of Bob Hope and Billy Crystal hosting are over.”
It should be noted there were earlier reports of a host-less ceremony after Hart decided to drop out of hosting duties. Because of the flip-flopping, here we are, yet again.
The reported favorite pick from The Academy? The cast of The Avengers franchise, per The Hollywood Reporter. I’m sure Disney and Marvel would be thrilled with that sort of marketing as they prepare for Avengers: Endgame to sweep the theaters in April. Not that they particularly need it, since me, you, your mama and your cousin, too, are going to see it—but it’ll be great for the brand, nonetheless.
So, how would this hypothetical hosting scheme work?
The cast of Black Panther has to claim the big opening musical number because they’re the baddest bitches of the entire Marvel franchise. Of course, they’d once again have to incorporate shouting “Wakanda Forever!” with the patented salute as they roast everyone in the audience.
Beyond the heroes of Wakanda, imagine Don Cheadle and Anthony Mackie doing the Kid n’ Play dance to the Best Original Music Score nominees.
Finally, Thanos will snap his fingers and no one would get Oscar statuettes. Best way to avoid awkward reaction shots of the losers with their forced, pained smiles, to be honest.
The 91st Academy Awards ceremony airs February 24 at 8 p.m. ET / 5:00 p.m. PT.