Society influences our sense of beauty from a very young age. Music videos featuring the current chart-topping pop princess, unrealistic social media beauty trends and even Barbie dolls all let us know that only certain people get to be beautiful. Historically, Black women have struggled with that often Eurocentric beauty standard — we know we’re gorgeous, but the western world hasn’t always wanted to admit that.
Thanks to the likes of Viola Davis and Miss Tina Knowles, one Black woman who recently posted an Instagram video about her struggles with her looks was reminded that she is indeed beautiful and that she needs to believe from within.
“You guys are right. I am ugly. I’ve finally come to realize that. The only person in the world that said I was beautiful was my mother,” she begins. “I never forget that. I was young, she said, ‘I know you think my daughter is ugly, but my daughter is beautiful.’”
What makes this so heartbreaking is her complete acceptance in what she’s saying. The world has made her believe this lie and it’s devastating. As the video continues, she details how she’s been mistreated by partners and has never been considered beautiful.
“You guys are lucky. You got people walk up to you, ‘Damn, you’re fine.’ I’ll never get that. I never will,” she concludes. “I’m an ugly Black woman. And I accept that.”
As much as we like to think that we’ve moved past those outdated traditions, we see the comments on social media posts and photos of stunning Black women. Yes we can keep reminding ourselves that we’re beautiful, but that gets harder to do when you feel that the rest of the world is constantly telling you you’re not.
The pain and sadness of this video moved Black women to assemble in the comments like The Avengers and let this amazing woman know just how beautiful she is.
The video was reposted by Davis, who had words of encouragement in her caption, writing, “Sorry sis. I don’t see ugly. The only ugly I see is in the hearts of the people who called you ugly. Hurts, eh? I know. BUT....accept this: there is not another YOU. Anywhere in the world....no other lips, nose, skin, hair, voice, honesty.....You are divinely sculpted and crafted....You will move through this world, and another beautiful soul will see you. That other soul....will be you.”
Knowles detailed all the original poster’s beautiful attributes from her eyes, to her skin, to her lips. She also noted how important it is to choose words carefully, as they’re more powerful than most people realize.
“This is heartbreaking to hear that ignorant, insensitive people have convinced this woman that she is not attractive,” Knowles wrote. “She has beautiful skin, full pretty lips, great eyes. I don’t know if people realize that [when we’re] children the messages that we hear loud and clear sticks with us even when they are not accurate. Please be careful what you say to a child.”
Another user commented on the similarities in their appearance and how it was Whoopi Goldberg who made her appreciate her beauty, writing in part, “People told me I was Ugly until it saw Ms. [Whoopi] Goldberg in ‘the color purple.’ She changed my life. I am so grateful that I now see my BEAUTY. This sista IS BEAUTIFUL and I hope oneday she will see how BEAUTIFUL she is before she leaves her human suit.”
Niecy Nash-Betts, who always focuses on the positive, replied, “Gap teeth for the win! #Beautiful”
It’s truly a shame that we live in a world that has made this woman feel like she’s ugly, simply because certain people have been given the power to decide what beauty is. I don’t care what your standard or metric for beauty is, she’s a gorgeous Black woman who deserves to be told how beautiful she is every single day.