Loser: Chris Brown
Two steps forward, two steps back. When Chris Brown tweeted about the successful completion of his court-mandated domestic violence course, he seemed headed in the right direction, but then he engaged in "Twitter beef" with former boy bander Raz-B, during which he hurled racial and homophobic slurs. Someone please teach him how to act on the Internet.
Follow him @ChrisBrown.
Captions by Michael Arceneaux
Winner: Nicki Minaj
The new queen of rap seized her throne partially because of her social media savvy. By regularly engaging with her fans directly and encouraging them to set up virtual street teams all across the globe, Nicki Minaj was able to solidify and build on her fan base just in time for the release of her now-platinum debut solo album.
Follow her @Nicki Minaj.
Loser: Tyrese
Ever meet a person who thinks he's as deep as the ocean but in reality has about as much depth as a wad of gum? Meet Tyrese's timeline. He's only trying to help, but many of us would rather help ourselves to a fortune cookie than to any of his tweets.
Follow him @Tyrese.
Winner: ?uestlove
So maybe his tweets sometimes unintentionally spark national headlines (the NBC cafeteria's fried-chicken fiasco), but if you're a fan of the Roots, you'll appreciate ?uestlove's sizable knowledge about all things music and his quirky, random tweets.
Follow him @Questlove.
Winner: Erykah Badu
Speaking of quirky and random, the tweets that fill Erykah Badu's page personify everything we love about the soul singer. Plus, she usually responds to you.
Follow her @FatBellyBella.
Loser: 50 Cent
Sometimes he's funny, and a few times he provides interesting insights about running a business. Most times, though, 50 Cent is every bit the attention whore he was when he first made his way onto the scene. When it comes to him, you're either entertained by his antics or you're waiting for him to retire already.
Follow him @50Cent.
Winner: Holly Robinson Peete
The actress and talk-show host uses Twitter to talk about more than just herself. Indeed, The Talk co-host routinely uses the micro-blogging site to promote her autism-related causes.
Follow her @HollyRPeete.
Loser: Kanye West
As brilliant an artist as he is, Kanye West nevertheless epitomizes the multiple reasons that most celebrities shouldn't be on Twitter. Without a proper filter, it's much easier for him and his views to be misconstrued. If he's serious about his refusal to be further "scrutinized as a human being" by the press, he should take his recklessness, randomness and emotional outbursts and keep them where they belong: the studio (or maybe a therapist's couch, but to each his own).
Follow him @KanyeWest.
Winner: Keri Hilson
Although she seems to be consistently roasted for various comments made on Twitter, for better or worse, Keri Hilson has managed to use her timeline to attract attention. That's no easy feat for an R&B singer not named Beyoncé. Then again, Beyoncé knows better than to give people anything to use against her.
Follow her @MissKeriBaby.
Loser: Stevie Johnson
After dropping five passes in a single game — including overtime — the Buffalo Bills wide receiver tweeted to God, "I praise you 24/7!!!!!! And this how you do me!!!!! You expect me to learn from this??? How???!!!" God has yet to tweet him back.
Follow him @StevieJohnson13.
Loser: Jazmine Sullivan
The young R&B star recently tweeted a diatribe about needing to take a break from the industry. Sullivan soon remembered that Twitter wasn't her diary, because the tweets were deleted minutes later. Too bad there's a certain thing called a screen shot that makes it impossible for celebrities to take back anything they post on the Net.
Follow her @Jsullivanmusic.
Winner: Reverend Run
If you think Carl Winslow's "3, 2, 1. 1, 2, 3. What the heck is bothering me?" is a smart guide for life, you'll probably love Reverend Run on Twitter. Take that however you want, but 1.7 million followers like what he has to say.
Follow him @RevRunWisdom.
Winner: Terry McMillan
For those looking for bits of "wisdom" they can't buy from a refrigerator magnet, the celebrated author's timeline is full of gems. On the other hand, like Reverend Run, McMillan has become a retweet magnet. Apparently, someone's looking for her brand of wisdom.
Follow her @MissTerry McMillan.
Loser: Carmelo Anthony
While going back and forth with Internet groupie Kat Stacks, the basketball star tweeted that he would pay $5,000 to whoever would "slap the sh— out of her pigeon faced ass." In case you're wondering, no, it's not very smart to post threats for the entire world — including police — to see. Anthony quickly claimed that his account had been "hacked." Sure, sir.
Follow him @CarmeloAnthony.
Winner: Anita Baker
Much of Anita Baker's tweets make you think of your sweet auntie. If you love singing (off-key) to "Caught Up in the Rapture," you'll probably love Baker's timeline. It just feels familiar.
Follow her @IAmAnitaBaker.
Loser: Tiger Woods
When your career has been heavily tainted by a wild sex scandal, would you really want to join a forum where people will revel in reminding you of your failures every day (and did so the very first day he joined)? Twitter should not have been a part of his comeback plan.
Follow him @TigerWoods.
Winner: Shaquille O'Neal
Sometimes Shaq does silly things — like proposing a boxing match with Jim Rome via Twitter. But for the most part, Shaq's timeline is no muss, no fuss, and his twitpics and videos get the fading NBA star some valuable press.
Follow him @the_real_Shaq.
Loser: Matt Barnes
This Los Angeles Laker recently e-battled with a Twitter prostitute and notoriously slandered the women who co-star with his girlfriend on VH1's Basketball Wives. Now, that's a losing streak.
Follow him @Matt_Barnes22.
Winner: Bill Cosby
For a while there, the comedy legend was starting to seem a wee bit too cantankerous. But these days on his Twitter page, Cosby still delivers his thoughts on the issues related to black youth — only now he doesn't sound as if he's about to cut a switch while doing so.
Follow him @BillCosby.
Loser: MC Hammer
The rapper's unfortunate and incredibly hilarious beef with Jay-Z all started with a Twitter rant. We're convinced that plenty of people told Hammer to sit down and coast on the legacy of parachute pants and Rick James samples. Since he obviously didn't listen, we're going to have to deem his account a fail.
Follow him @MCHammer.
Winner: Roland Martin
When word about Teena Marie's death first hit the Web, instead of just sitting there speculating, this journalist actually bothered to — gasp — do some reporting, helping to confirm the R&B singer's death for Twitter users and media organizations alike.
Follow him @RolandSMartin.
Loser: Mary J. Blige
We love Mary J. Blige, oh yes, we do. But real love means we have to let our girl know that having someone proofread her tweets and signing up for "Word of the Day" e-mails would go a long way toward cleaning up a timeline that's riddled with grammatical errors.
Follow her @MaryJBlige.
Loser: Bow Wow
When the pint-size rapper isn't displaying his penchant for overcompensating by tweeting about "love making hours" or uploading pictures of himself at his house with 30 women, Bow Wow is oversharing about having occasional feelings of not wanting to live. Millionaires can still afford therapy, right?
Follow him @BowWow.
Winner: Alisa Valdes-Rodriguez
When the author of The Dirty Girls Social Club optioned the rights to her novel to Encanto Productions, she had no idea they would remove the diversity of the characters and replace them with trite stereotypes. So she took to Twitter to broadcast her message — gaining national attention for her plight.
Follow her @AlisaValdes.
Loser: LeVar Burton
The host of Reading Rainbow uses Twitter to ask for hookups at Vegas hotels. There's something just not quite right about that.
Follow him @LeVarBurton.
Loser: Toni Braxton
Sorry, but when you're a multiplatinum-selling, Grammy Award-winning singer who uses Twitter to ask your fans if you should do Playboy and show "just a lil T and A," no matter how you flip it, you're losing. The end.
Follow her @ToniBraxton.