(The Root) — Another day, another public relations nightmare for disgraced and recently fired Food Network star Paula Deen. She has had a target on her back since it was revealed last week that she has said and done some pretty racist things in the past, resulting in a lawsuit, several hilarious Twitter hashtags and a cringe-inducing interview with Matt Lauer that brought more criticism.
Deen is now turning to Judy Smith, the crisis-management expert who inspired ABC's hit drama Scandal. The show features Kerry Washington as Olivia Pope, a Washington, D.C., fixer who cleans up messes for the likes of international diplomats and high-ranking officials. The real Olivia Pope has lent her expertise to the infamous, such as Michael Vick and Monica Lewinsky.
I can see it now: Paula Deen sits nervously in Olivia's office. She pulls a fried biscuit from her purse and munches it mindlessly to soothe her nerves. In an adjacent room, Olivia stares at Paula through plated glass, and Harrison talks in a low, urgent tone, which is pretty much the only tone he has.
"I want you to know that I trust you, Olivia, but I don't trust her."
"That's fine. You don't have to trust her," Olivia shoots back without loosening her gaze on Paula. "You just have to trust me."
"I like her. She smells like chicken. I love chicken," quips Quinn. Abby sighs a rush of words.
"This isn't about chicken."
"You're right, this isn't about chicken," Harrison asserts. "This is about my bow ties and the ease with which I mix them with fun, whimsical prints."
"Where's Huck?" asks Olivia, urgently.
"Huck? I haven't seen Huck. Quinn, where's Huck?"
"Why would I know where Huck is?"
"Guys," says Abby. "I just found Huck."
Olivia's eyes drift to a chair in the corner of the office, where Huck sits staring blankly at Paula Deen, working through creative ways to torture someone with a stick of butter.
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Tracy Clayton is a writer, humorist and blogger from Louisville, Ky.