Alright, so boom.
The president of the United States decided—on a random-ass Thursday—that he was going to kill a top Iranian military commander who’d been ignored by two former presidents because beefing with Iran is akin to beefing with a young Mike Tyson before he met Robin Givens.
Then, because the president is a perpetual bitch who can’t stop tweeting, he tweeted out the threat of a war crime, claiming that Iran better not think about retaliating because he’s already picked out 52 sites, some of which are culturally important to Iran, as targets.
Because we live in a world where the president of the United States uses Twitter to fan the flames of potential war and because Iran ain’t no punk, a senior Iranian official took to Twitter to say “Oh, word? This is what we are doing?” before listing President Trump’s properties, including Mar-a-Lago in Florida and Trump Tower in Manhattan.
“Hesameddin Ashena, a top adviser to Iranian President Hassan Rouhani, tweeted a link to a Forbes magazine profile that listed the properties, none of which is fortified to withstand a military attack, along with a quote from the late Ayatollah Ruhollah Khomeini,” the New York Post reports.
The tweet also linked to a Business Casual video, which explains Trump’s alleged real estate empire.
“I tell the whole world that if the world wants to stand up to our religion, we will stand up against their whole world,” the quote in the tweet read.
What does Robert De Niro have to do with any of this? Well, Ashena also retweeted a video posted by the actor that showed Iranians mourning the loss of Gen. Qassem Soleimani, who was killed in a drone attack issued by the president.
Trump didn’t just order the hit, he ordered the hit after returning from spending the holidays at Mar-a-Lago, aka “I’m sucking taxpayers fucking dry whenever I visit this shithole.”
Ashena also retweeted a post from the president that noted that the impeachment proceedings were coming at a time “when we have so many important matters pending,” asserting that the attack on Iran was a planned move to take the attention off the obvious.
“The relationship between terror and impeachment became clear,” Ashena wrote, the Post reports.
Ashena wasn’t the only Iranian official with Twitter fingers; Javad Zarif, Iran’s foreign minister, called the president’s advisers “clowns” and that wasn’t all.
“Have you EVER seen such a sea of humanity in your life, @realdonaldtrump ?” he wrote along with a series of photos of mourners.
“Do you still want to listen to the clowns advising you on our region? And do you still imagine you can break the will of this great nation & its people? End of malign US presence in West Asia has begun,” Zarif wrote.
“A reminder to those hallucinating about emulating ISIS war crimes by targeting our cultural heritage: Through MILLENNIA of history, barbarians have come and ravaged our cities, razed our monuments and burnt our libraries. Where are they now? We’re still here, & standing tall,” the foreign minister tweeted, the Post reports.
So far the president has not responded to the tweet war he incited but something tells me it’s coming.