NYT: Obama on Economy: Pain Now, Gain Later
Reuters: Pirates: Still Feeling Froggy, Still Jackin' Ships (Not US Ships, But Still)
CSM: For N. Korea, Sanctions Hold Little Sway Because…Well…Come On Man, It's the UN
AP: Blago Gets Indicted, Pleads "Dude, I Didn't Do It"
USNWR: Depression Increases Risk of Heart Failure
WP: Number of Babies Born to Illegals Grows, But You're Not Paying for That (Right?)
AP: Smithsonian Picks Designer for Af-Am Museum
WP: FIU Ethers Own Hoop Program, Hire Isaiah Thomas to Coach
BB: Retail Sales Drop Unexpectedly in March, Analysts Fear Recession May Be Afoot
MSNBC: Mel Gibson's Wife Might Take Him to Cleaners in Divorce; Jesus Says, "Can't Help Ya Bro"
LAT: Phil Spector Gets Got; To Get Acquainted with Wall of Bars
WP: Goldman Posts Profit, Moves to Repay Rescue Money (No; You Aren't Dead)
MST: Stewart Smalley Saves Minnesota! Franken Wins U.S. Senate Seat
CNN: Poll: Obama Not Making US Less Safe; Just Ask Those Somali Chaps
AJE: Pirates Vow Revenge on US; SEAL Sniper: "My Finger Ain't Tired"
BBC: UN Condemns N. Korea Launch, Threaten to Show Up in Blue Helmets and Do Nothing
BET: Michigan School Closes Following Murder-Suicide
Forbes: Blacks Less Likely to Get Optimal Lung Cancer Treatment Along With Optimal Anything Else
NYDN: Suit Alleges White Cop Gunned Down Black Cop
USAT: We Hear Cleveland Is Lovely This Time of Year: The LeBrons Clinch Home Court Advantage
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