President Donald Trump is a lot of things—a man who paints his skin with the finest orange Krylons; a fine connoisseur of America’s best xenophobia, misogyny and racism—but he is not a smart man.
Despite his team’s best efforts to keep a phone out of his tiny hands, somehow President Jebediah von Sleufoot continues to break the child lock on the White House iPad to send out extremely damaging tweets.
On Wednesday, President FuFu von TumbleWeed pulled back the roots of his lace front to show how his brain works. After a Fox News report that 91 percent of the news about Trump and his administration is negative, Trump fired off this tweet:
According to Trump’s tweet, because 91 percent of the news about his deplorable and vomit-inducing administration is negative, Trump also believes that the news is “fake.” The news is negative because Trump’s administration is barely functioning. At this point, Trump is running the 1991 Hyundai Excel of administrations. Instead of President Chichi von RussianPissStain looking at the number of negatives stories being written about his administration as a indictment of his dictatorial direction, he blows it off as fake news.
The other telling part of Trump’s tweets (besides the fact that the president keeps fucking tweeting) is the suggestion that the White House take away the media’s credentials. To date, this has been the most inaccessible administration in modern history. The president has all but done away with press conferences, instead sending his henchman Aunt Lydia Sarah Huckabee Sanders, aka Suckabee, to do his lying. Suckabee has made NFL starting running backs jealous of her evasive moves. She frequently calls on right-leaning news organizations to control the narrative.
This administration has been making the press the enemy from the time President WhoVille von EagleVomit took office. His vague threat to strip credentials from the press is just another step in making this administration more isolated from the public, which is what dictators do.