Trump to Nominate Late Supreme Court Justice Antonin Scalia’s Son for Labor Secretary

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We all know that President Trump met up with nepotism in a back alley, punched it in the balls, and hit it over the head with one of Ivanka’s kitten heels from her cruisewear line that seems to be exclusively sold at Marshall’s.

The man that has given the highest level of security clearance to his daughter and her husband has never had an issue with hiring family, so why would he let that stop him now?

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On Thursday, the president announced that his pick to lead the Labor Department is none other than the son of the late Supreme Court Justice Antonin Scalia, Eugene Scalia. Yes, that Scalia, who might have been the most conservative judge on the court during his tenure and was reportedly the mastermind holding the strings that made Clarence Thomas’ arms, feet and mouth move.

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USA Today notes that if Scalia’s son is confirmed, he’d “take over a department that has been a key player in the Trump administration’s campaign to cut business regulations, including many implemented during the Obama administration.”

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It’s important to point out that Scalia, 55, works as a partner at the law firm Gibson Dunn & Crutcher in Washington, D.C., where he handles cases related to labor and employment, and worked for “Evil Fred Flintstone,” aka Attorney General William Barr, “during Barr’s first stint leading the Justice Department” in the early 1990s, NPR reports.

From USA Today:

The previous Labor secretary, Alex Acosta, resigned last week amid the fallout over a plea deal he oversaw involving wealthy financier Jeffrey Epstein, a sex offender charged with human trafficking girls as young as 14.

Scalia previously worked as the top lawyer at the Labor Department during the George W. Bush administration, a job he received through a recess appointment. Democrats in control of the Senate at the time did not confirm him, suggesting he could meet with resistance from Democrats again.

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“Gene has led a life of great success in the legal and labor field and is highly respected not only as a lawyer but as a lawyer with great experience,” Trump tweeted on Thursday.

Trump added* that his connections to Evil Fred Flintstone and his lineage will make him the third wheel in the tricycle of evil.

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*Trump didn’t say this.