On Monday, during a press conference with American President Vladimir Putin, Donald Trump kindly escorted the entire U.S. intelligence agency outside to a Helskini highway, where he introduced them to a bus after claiming that he didn’t believe that Russia had anything to do with interfering in the 2016 election despite all claims that it did.
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On Tuesday, Trump walked those claims back, noting that he “misspoke” when he claimed that he loved Russia and wanted to have Russian babies. What he meant to say was that he likes Russia a lot and that they are headed toward a committed relationship. He also noted that he had “full faith and support for America’s great intelligence agencies.”
Welp, it’s Wednesday, so you know what that means—Trump is talking and therefore lying and therefore walking back claims that he and Russia are Facebook official.
According to NPR, during a cabinet meeting Wednesday, Trump was asked whether he believes Russia is still targeting the United States and Trump shook his head “no.”
Trump has not stop talking about Russia because his staff has officially lost their shit and now he’s resorted to using sign language and head nods. Trump reportedly put heart-hands to his chest while mouthing the words, “Putin, do you love me? Are you riding?”
Trump’s defiant head nod contradicts an earlier warning issued by his own director of national intelligence, Dan Coats, who NPR reports said just last week that “the warning signs are there. The system is blinking,” and that “today, the digital infrastructure that serves this country is literally under attack.”
Trump, who still believes that he’s not in bed with Russia despite wearing pajamas with Putin’s face all over them, added: “There’s never been a president as tough on Russia as I have been,” which, is total bullshit.
Sarah Huckabee Sanders, aka “Suckabee” aka the Devil’s mouthpiece, was doing her master’s work during Wednesday’s press briefing, claiming that Trump wasn’t saying no to Russia interfering in the midterm elections but was, in fact, saying no to taking more questions. Why does everything about Russia always have to be explained by someone else who isn’t the president?
Because no one in the White House knows how to use a Motorola flip phone, Trump tweeted, Wednesday, “so many people at the higher ends of intelligence” loved his press conference in Helsinki,” adding that he and Putin are probably going to summer in Delaware,“which truly bothered many haters who wanted to see a boxing match.”
Just got off the phone with the higher ends of intelligence and they said that they don’t know what the fuck Trump is talking about and they added, “Whose mans is this?”
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