Contrary to the countless chairs I’ve hurled throughout the years while watching my beloved Denver Broncos trot out sorry-ass quarterback after sorry-ass quarterback, I’m not a violent person. But if I actually had a dad—I regret to inform you all that I don’t—and some dickhead announcer used his death to get some dork-ass jokes off, there’s probably a 97.2 percent likelihood that I’d end up in jail. (For those wondering, the remaining 2.8 percent infers I’d get away with the crime.)
To that end, Washington Wizards announcer Glenn Consor, who’s a prime candidate for the 2022 Scumbag of the Universe Award, did something so vile on Wednesday night that I didn’t even believe it happened when I heard about it.
During the Wizards game against the Houston Rockets, guard Kevin Porter Jr. was cooking up in Capital One Arena—he finished with 22 points—when the Scumbag of the Universe said the following disgusting-ass shit: “Kevin Porter Jr., like his dad, pulled that trigger right at the right time.”
For those of you scratching your heads and wondering why in the hell Consor is such a despicable piece of shit for saying something like that, allow me to explain: Contrary to popular belief, Porter’s father isn’t former NBA player Kevin Porter, who played for the Washington Bullets, the Detroit Pistons, and New Jersey Nets throughout the course of his 10-year career prior to retiring in 1983. His father was shot and killed in 2004 when Porter was only four years old. And prior to his death, his father was also charged with first-degree manslaughter.
From the Los Angeles Times:
In August 1993, Kevin Porter Sr. was charged with first-degree murder in the shooting death of a 14-year-old girl. According to a report in the Seattle Times, witnesses said Porter turned to a trembling girl seated in the backseat of his car, told her he was going to shoot her and then allegedly pulled the trigger.
In November, Kevin Sr. pleaded guilty to first-degree manslaughter. He told the judge that he was handing the loaded and cocked semiautomatic gun to the girl, who had asked to see it. He said the gun accidentally discharged.
The only witness to the shooting, the girl’s friend, had also recanted an earlier statement that said the shooting was intentional. Porter’s defense attorney said that the witness’ “conscience got the better of her” after she had initially been pressured by the family of the deceased to send the young man away for life.
Instead, Kevin Sr. was sentenced to 4 1/2 years in prison, allowing him to come back to his young family and try to make up for a tragic mistake.
Now does everyone understand why Glenn Consor is such a disgusting human being?
On Thursday, Consor took to Twitter to “sincerely apologize” for what he insists was a mistake.
“I mistakenly thought that Kevin was the son of former Washington player Kevin Porter and was unaware that the words I chose to describe his game-winning shot would be in any way hurtful or insensitive,” he said in a prepared statement. “I have reached out to Kevin to personally apologize and hope to be able to talk with him soon.”
Now is it entirely possible that Consor is telling the truth and did mistake Porter’s father for a former NBA player? Sure. But as badly as I want to believe him, his “like his dad” and “pulled the trigger at the right time” references feel a little too convenient.
So sorry, y’all, but I ain’t buying it.