As they teach us in kindergarten, sharing is good. Cookies. Crayons. Blankies. I’m all with it. But there is such a thing as too much sharing—especially when its in the form of information about you that I don’t really need to know.
So in homage to that virally popular Facebook tag, wherein people share 25 Things You Don’t Know About Me, I’d like to offer a few things I don’t want to know about you.
How much you’re worth, how much you’ve lost in the market. That should remain between you and your accountant.
If you announce you’ve just been waxed, I sincerely you’re talking about your Bentley.
Hate your spouse, your child, your in-laws? The family therapist can help with that. Spare the rest of us.
Honestly, your baby is adorable but I don’t want to hear about how long the tear was that enabled him to burst from your womb. And you can bet the first-time mother-to-be sitting next to you doesn’t want to hear that, either—she’s anxious enough already.
Your bout with venereal disease. Even if you think “everybody gets it at one time or another.” Everybody doesn’t. And the only two people who need to know are your doctor and the person who’s thinking about sleeping with you.
How much things cost. I can admire your home, your handbag, the progressive philosophy behind your child’s private school without having to hear what they cost. Ibid, if you’re giving me a present, don’t tell me “I paid a lot for it; hope you like it.”
Karen Grigsby Bates is a Los Angeles-based correspondent for NPR News and co-author, with Karen Elyse Hudson, of The New Basic Black: Home Training For Modern Times (Doubleday).
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is a Los Angeles-based correspondent for NPR News and co-author, with Karen Elyse Hudson, of The New Basic Black: Home Training For Modern Times (Doubleday).