Jello
Green bean casserole
Turkey lunch meat
Dates
Boiled hot dogs
Cottage cheese
Coconut water
Tiramisu
Candy corn
Easter Peeps
Iceberg lettuce
All puddings
Mountain Dew
Beets
Turkey bacon
Chicken nuggets
Gin
Pumpkin-flavored anything
Hard-boiled eggs
Caviar
Prunes
Hard pretzels
Marriott Rewards Continental Breakfast sausage gravy
Muffins
Brownies
Relish
Unsweetened iced tea
Coffee
Sauerkraut
Beer-battered fish
Beer
Chicken Cordon Bleu
Blue cheese
Pickles
Most coleslaws
Your potato salad if 1) this is one of the first 22 times you’ve tried to make it or 2) if you’re a white person with no Southern roots
All of the candy that my dad likes (sorry, Dad)
Licorice
Tootsie Rolls
Powdered eggs
Chicken salad
Tuna casserole
All casseroles, generally, because casseroles (generally) are bad ideas borne out of pervasive indecisiveness
Those Frisbee-shaped Mexican pizzas they served at lunchtime if you went to school in the Greater Pittsburgh Metropolitan Area
Baked potatoes
Celery
Strawberry ice cream
Most of y’all’s turkeys tomorrow