Three Quick Thoughts About Robin Thicke's "Get Her Back"

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1. I don't know how sincere Robin Thicke's begging happens to be. None of us do, actually. Not even Paula Patton. But, I do know, though, that by crafting this album, he makes us all skeptics. Perhaps I'm just a natural skeptic. I still don't believe it's not butter. But, if someone is sincerely trying to win back the heart of a person they did wrong, I'd think that doing it publicly in a financially profitable manner might actually be the worst way to do it. You're basically shaming them into sympathy —- and making millions off your efforts. Even if he has no ulterior motives, no rational person would believe he has no ulterior motives.

2. My theory about Thicke's mysteriously bloody nose? He was snorting coke with Lana Del Rey in a hotel in Belize. Nothing inappropriate was happening. Just two star musicians snorting some coke together. But Paula Patton walked in. Unbeknownst to him, she was also in Belize doing a shoot for Gap Body. She knew where he was staying, and wanted to surprise him.

Knowing Thicke's history, she assumed something inappropriate was happening. So she started chasing him. He got up to run, but he tripped face-first over a pair of red New Balances Lana Del Rey had brought up to the room to show him. And since his nose was already sensitive from the coke snorting, it started bleeding.

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3. My all-time favorite "I really fucked up, and I need to fix it" track is "Sorry for 2004." It's also the most ambitious. Forget about apologizing for cheating or accidentally peeing on the toilet seat. Ruben Studdard attempted to preemptively "My bad" a whole entire year.

Anyway, I listened to "Sorry for 2004." I knew "Sorry for 2004."  "Sorry for 2004" was a friend of mine. "Get Her Back" — you're no "Sorry for 2004."