A clip from the reality TV show “Family or Fiancé,” in which engaged couples must live under the same roof as their concerned — and disapproving — families, has gone viral on TikTok and X, creating discourse across the diaspora.
This OWN channel drama is messy, so let’s get straight into it. Season Four, Episode Six, titled, “Britne and Jide: A Valentine’s Day Mom-sacre,” which aired on March 15, saw a future mother-in-law going off on Britne, a Black American woman who is engaged to be married to Jide, who is Nigerian.
After spending a Valentine’s Day dinner with the soon-to-be wed couple, Jide’s mother was infuriated because her future daughter-in-law did not clear her plate. The aftermath of the evening led to a very hostile scene at a family dinner.
Dragged outside by her son and other family members, the mother-in-law shouted about the fact that her son’s fiancée is disrespecting her and her culture.
“In Nigerian culture, you are supposed to take your mother-in-law’s plate,” the woman screamed across a dinner table. “You are supposed to respect me!” The woman then got up from the table, and continued to berate Britne, pointing and yelling at her while she was removed from the room.
She continued to yell, while being held back, “I’m not your maid, she must respect me! You have to take my plate!” Jide tried to calm his mother down, yelling, “Listen to me! Listen to me!,” although the mother did not comply.
She then told her son not to be a “wimp for a woman.”
“Nonsense! Nonsense! If she wants to marry a Nigerian she must respect her elders,” the enraged woman added.
Harsh. At least, the majority of X users seemed to think so, especially while the groom-to-be struggles with his “mama’s boy identity,” per the show’s YouTube log line.
Twitter user @loveKase24 said: “It’s the fact that she [fiancée] spoke respectfully, and was still met with more disrespect. The lady [Mother-in-law] was hell for no reason.” User @tallyohh had some smoke for the son’s lack of support for his future bride during the exchange, adding: “Ugh he doesn’t need to be marrying anybody with a mother like that if he can’t learn to check her. She’s gonna try every moment to destroy his relationships, that’s probably why he’s as old as he is and still single.”
“As a Nigerian, girl run!!!!!,” one TikTok commenter wrote, while another added: “That hatred was bigger than the plate.” One person penned, “The mother’s response shows it’s more then about taking her plate. The mother wants to be in control and is using culture as a way to be disrespectful,” while a fourth declared how the woman wanted “to be the dominant woman in his life, it has nothing to do with culture. She came over on Valentine’s Day because she treats the son like her man. Shouting because she’s fighting for her man.”
However, there were some tweets defending the mother-in-law. The focus was less on her reaction and more about the fact that “if you can’t respect another culture, do not marry within that culture.”
User @PrissyVonPriCe wrote: “...If it was my culture and someone wanted to marry into my family and not respect it I’d be incensed as well. I wouldn’t have acted like that but I would have explained it to her.”
On the TikTok clip @adannaalexis142 commented: “The mother is lashing out at the innocent girl because she feels like she’s being replaced it was clearly stated as she uttered those words herself which to me is ridiculous.”
Maybe that is a case waiting to be made, but that is another conversation for another messy day.