After a breakout year in 2017, Tiffany Haddish is coming into 2018 hot.
You’ll be seeing the scene-stealing comedian this Super Bowl Sunday when her Groupon ad airs (you remember her amazing Will-and-Jada-on-the-swamp-tour plug during the Jimmy Kimmel show, right?). On Wednesday, Vulture published an interview in which she dished on her ideal Groupon date (it involves Trevor Noah and Michael B. Jordan) and how to finesse a selfie with Beyoncé.
You know we have to start with Beyoncé—especially since this story begins with Haddish about to fight somebody:
OK, so what had happened was, something had went down with somebody at the party, right? I’m not at liberty to say what had went down at the party, but Beyoncé was just telling me to have a good time, and I was like, “No, I’m gonna end up fighting this bitch!” She was like, “No, have fun, Tiffany,” and I said, “I’m only going to have fun if you take a selfie with me.”
Wow, perfectly played.
She said, “OK,” and then she buried her face in my wig. We took the picture and I was like, “Is my wig slipping?” And she was like, “Mmm-hmm.” But she knew who I was! She came up to me and was like, “I think you are so funny, Tiffany Haddish.” I was like, “What? You know me?!” She said, “I’m Beyoncé.” “I KNOW!”
Kudos to Haddish for not dying instantaneously when Queen Bey paid her a compliment, because I could never survive that kind of rapture. Also interesting: Beyoncé can break up fights when she wants to.
If you need proof that Haddish is more of a lover than a fighter, though, look no further than her list of ideal Groupon dates:
I would take Michael B. Jordan, I would take Trevor Noah. I would take Will Ferrell because he would be so much fun to hang out with, and he can bring his wife and kids because the Groupons are so cheap. Who else would I take? Definitely I would take Kevin Hart somewhere, with his wife, so I could hear her talking crazy to him. And Dave Chappelle and his wife, because I already get along with her. Wait, now it’s turning into a couples thing, so I guess I have to marry Trevor Noah or Michael B. Jordan. Maybe I can marry both of them! I’ll go to Africa and have two husbands.
Y’all. Protect Tiffany Haddish at all costs.