50. Gravity.
49. Cold weather.
48. Stop signs.
47. Chicken-fried steak.
46. Astrology.
45. Male pattern baldness.
44. Kawhi Leonard’s laugh.
43. Gout.
42. Daylight saving time.
41. Internet browsing and chat histories.
40. White people, generally.
39. Colonoscopy prep.
38. Wet socks.
37. The apartment buildings that are erected in urban spaces after they’ve been gentrified, with large and curtain-less windows that allow you to clearly see the white people living there.
36. The last two and a half seasons of The Walking Dead.
35. Bruce Wayne, who has totally said “nigger” at least once and maybe tried to play it off to Alfred as method acting.
34. America’s infatuation with professional sports.
33. Most pornography involving black people.
32. The concept of credit.
31. Snow globes, because when have you ever seen a black family inside of one?
30. Breakfasts and brunches without attractive pork choices.
29. Blood pressure.
28. Waiting in line.
27. Most work potlucks.
26. Urinals without barriers or partitions.
25. Police uniforms.
24. Facebook.
23. Every television show with “Chicago” in its title.
22. Both Scarface and Carlito’s Way—and especially Scarface—because both movies are essential members of the classic gangster movie canon despite Al Pacino’s very obvious Latino blackface (brownface?) in each.
21. Kidney stones.
20. Frank’s Hot Sauce.
19. The prison industrial system.
18. Dogs, if they have racist owners and/or handlers, which means most police dogs.
17. White people, individually.
16. The way law enforcement is enacted in America.
15. Colonization.
14. Gentrification.
13. Whoever’s idea it was to put bananas in that hotel fruit salad I accidentally ordered and ate three weeks ago.
12. Loquacious Uber drivers.
11. Parking lots.
10. White rice.
9. Most of the shows that my daughter finds on her own on ABC Kids TV.
8. The two-party system.
7. The reflexive and myopic tendency to pathologize the South.
6. Romantic comedies.
5. Gerrymandering.
4. The face the white man who just walked past me made when he glanced at me.
3. White people, collectively.
2. America.
1. Tofu.