The Root’s Clapback Mailbag: We’re the Real Racists

You’re the real racists.

I’ve always wanted to say that. That phrase has surpassed “Not all white people” as the No. 1 complaint in the comments, emails, messages and tweets we receive at The Root. So today’s Clapback Mailbag is dedicated to the people who believe The Root should be added to the list of “black identity extremist” organizations. We are not concerned with the FBI labeling us a black supremacist site because all black people live under the premise most beautifully elocuted by the double-necklace-wearing bard whose name exemplifies our motto:

“We’ll be fresh as hell if the feds watching.”

The first items in the mailbag come from a sample of the comments from Deputy Managing Editor Yesha Callahan’s article on the bullying of Keaton Jones.

From: Blkk

Only a POS RACIST like YOU would politicize the story of a little boy who has been victimized at school. This topic has NOTHING to do with the mother’s opinion of the flag. Go F yoyrself. Im sure if she supported the racist BLM group you’d be ok with that.

From: runningnoodles

And you might be a dissembling, malicious, hate mongering, race-baiter, dear? In fact, ‘are’, not ‘might be’, given your willingness to conflate an image of the Confederate flag with ‘racism’. Why are you attacking white people, hon? Hypocrisy really escapes you, lol? Because YOU are projecting your own racist tendencies onto anyone who rejects your embarrassingly puerile and morally and intellectually dishonest narrative. But, hey, sweets, keep it up...you are doing a fabulous job of confirming that pompously moralizing social justice warriors are nothing but self-parodying attention seekers who repel even moderate liberals. Grow up, how embarrassing for you to publicly advertise your salivating junior high mean girl malice and ignorance.

From: Meh1234

Oh noes! Oh noes! Not the flag! Nooooooooooooo. And OMG, you made an article about it! That means you, not just support it, but actively encourage it! Yeah, grow a pair; whichever ones you prefer. And she’s right, btw. If you aren’t bleeding, no bones are sticking out & you can breathe, STOP crying. It’s easy to blame “whites” for your issues, and it’s hard to actually acknowledge that your problems are created by you.

The day 13% of population stops committing 50% of crimes, is the day less shooting by cops against that 13% of population will occur. Kinda like magic, really. Nothing racist about it - we’re, as humans; black, white, asian, doesn’t matter really, as long we don’t subscribe to marxist bullshit you do - tired of your whining. The whole world is tired of your whining. Guess what? Others were “oppressed” as well, Ottoman’s Empire in Balcans was a thing for 400+ years - longer than slavery in US - and you don’t hear those people whining about their ancestors and how they are owed the world, do you?

Dear Blkk, runningnoodles and Meh1234,

Look, I agree with all of you. Yesha is an oppressive racist. She makes me write that intro every week and she just asked me, “Where is the mailbag?” The only reason she keeps doing this to me must be racism. #MikeLivesMatter.

[It’s 2:45 p.m. on Friday. I am ready to eat my edibles and drink some wine, yet here I am editing this. You are the oppressive one. —Yesha]

Even though Blkk is right: If Keaton’s mom supported “the racist BLM,” Yesha would be cool with that because ... duhhh—I never thought that Yesha was against white people. She even told me herself. She said to me, “I have nothing against the alabasters.” Obviously I’m paraphrasing here, but I’m pretty close. I had no reason not to believe her, but after reading your comments, I’m beginning to suspect something is up with Yesha.

I agree with runningnoodle’s contention that Yesha’s “willingness to conflate an image of the Confederate flag with ‘racism’” is a little bit prejudiced. Yesha reached that spurious conclusion simply because she often sees the Ku Klux Klan waving the rebel flag during marches and skinheads proudly wearing it on their uniform. She refuses to factor in the possibility that people may use it to represent their heritage. Sure, it’s a heritage of people who were willing to die so that slavery could endure, but why base her opinion on facts?

The man who designed the Confederate flag said that they were “fighting to maintain the Heaven-ordained supremacy of the white man over the inferior or colored race; a white flag would thus be emblematical of our cause,” but that is just another one of those “facts” that Yesha factored in when she wrote about Keaton’s mom. Facts are racist.

Like when Meh1234 included the “fact” that police shoot black people because 13 percent of the population commits 50 percent of crimes, Meh1234 leaves out the fact that a large percentage of those crimes are drug-related arrests, and even though whites use drugs at about the same rate, blacks are 2.6 times more likely to be arrested for them. But who’s counting? Obviously not Meh1234.

I just want to confirm with all of you that I have notified the proper authorities and warned them that they should keep an eye on Yesha’s black identity extremism. After they laughed me off the phone, I decided to keep a dossier myself. I’m updating it every day, since no one else will.

Despite the fact that Yesha has never killed a black boy in cold blood and walked away scot-free; even though she has never denied anyone employment or housing because of their race; in spite of the fact that she didn’t create an unequal education, political or criminal-justice system, the fact that she wrote about a white woman who is willing to take handouts on the internet while vilifying black people just because it’s actually her job to do that is no excuse. Yesha and her highfalutin words are the real racists. I see it now. Thanks, guys.

And as for Yesha sullying innocent little Keaton, you are absolutely correct. Just because his mother is a racist and his father is a white supremacist doesn’t necessarily mean that Keaton will ... wait. Scratch that last point. I was about to use facts.

But don’t worry. I’m watching her.

[Also, I’m not racist. I have white friends. I’ve provided photographic evidence below. Ashé. —Yesha]

This next letter comes from a Facebook user. I don’t know specifically what he’s talking about, but his rant was epic. Enjoy.

From: George S.
To: Michael Harriot

Fuck black lives matter nigger boy.. Always playing the fucking victims. Here is some good advice. Black fathers, stop being sperm donors. Black kids graduate high school. Black mothers graduate college and get married before you pop out 3 kids with 3 different men before you are 25. Black people are their own worst enemy. You are a pussy!!

South Carolina , what a joke and yes us northerners make fun of people taking pics of snow dusting. What a clown!!

Your nostrils stretch out to the center of your eyes. Not natural!! Plantation nigger, no doubt.

That is right motherfucker, we never owned slaves. Totally different generation. A bunch of excuse makers who blame others for their races dysfunctions. Facts do not care about feelings asshole.

You called Trump a racist but Obama gets a pass for having Al Sharpton as a close adviser and invited BLM to the White House. The double fucking standards.

Black home ownership is the highest it has ever been under Trump. Keep drinking that Kool Aid.. Black people from the south might be the dumbest people ever. Simple mineed fools.

Two hours later, when he received no response, he sent this:

Equal rights comes with equal responsibility to respect the rights of those who do not agree with you. Guess who said that asshole. MLK!!

Funny that Donald Trump did business in NYC for 40 years and he received awards from the NAACP and other groups and even Jesse Jackson praised his work on behalf of minorities, but he suddenly became a racist when he ran for president and sheep like you fall for it hook, line and sinker. It is like black people cant think with their ,and need the fake media to think for them. You are a sheep!!! So damn easily led.

Dear George,

You win. Your letter is unclapbackatable. You’re right. Black fathers need to stop playing sperm donors. Black people need to get an education before having children. President Barack Obama invited Black Lives Matter to the White House. I don’t have a mirror in front of me right now, but my nose might actually stretch to the center of my eyes.

You are correct. By your definition of racism, neither you nor Donald Trump is a racist. You win.

From: Kevin G
To: The Root

I have been reading Jalopnik and Gizmodo for years. Recently your other articles from Kinja assets have been showing titles linking to racist articles.

“10 types of useless white people”

“White people need to be better people”

And many more.

I know you don’t care about my opinion as a white person, but if the race of these articles were switched to any other race, YOUR teams would be shouting racism. I’m sure you do this to get clicks and views, but I will no longer read anything published by your media company and it’s support of racism.

You should be ashamed of yourselves.

No, Kevin!

Don’t go. I’m begging you. Please stay. On behalf of all of the employees at The Root, I’d like to offer my sincerest apologies. I had no idea we were assaulting your delicate sensibilities with our anti-white commentary. Trust me, we are ashamed of ourselves. In our Wednesday staff meeting, we often worry about the content of our site.

We live with constant concern about the flimsiness of the one-ply, Dollar Tree toilet-paper thickness of white skin. But now we understand the one thing we overlooked and the reason we have received so many complaints:

White people can’t read.

Caucasian illiteracy is a growing problem in America that The Root has vowed to eliminate. After seeing the grammar and spelling in our hate mail, we realize these aren’t isolated incidents; it’s a national crisis equal only to the opioid epidemic, Chicago gun violence and when retail employees don’t listen to a white woman who was obviously “told by AppleCare ... ”

Now we understand that Caucasians can’t quite read the posts we write about homophobia in the black community, crime and misogyny. Now we fully see that when we criticize women like Tomi Lahren, Taylor Swift and former Officer Betty Shelby, we’re being racist. But when we condemn people like Omarosa, Chrisette Michele or Arizona Police Officer Philip “Mitch” Brailsford, who shot Daniel Shaver in cold blood, apparently white people can’t read those articles.

When we called out Ray Rice for his anti-anthem stance, Lil Wayne for his anti-Black Lives Matter comments, Migos for homophobia, Steve Harvey for joking about the Flint, Mich., water crisis, Sheriff David Clarke for the murders in his prison or Ben Carson for his support of Donald Trump, our fairer-skinned brethren didn’t quite have the requisite level of reading comprehension to enjoy those pieces. When I wrote about the culture of black male silence surrounding sexual assault, I should have done it phonetically. And apparently, Damon Young’s viral piece “Straight Black Men Are the White People of Black People” was too filled with words for our white audience.

We’re going to change this, Kevin. Not just for you but for all of our white audience that accuses us of racism. I know you must be correct in your assessment of The Root because if not, it could only mean that you are being willfully ignorant and would rather call us racists than admit that there is a possibility that you pay attention only to things that confirm your own biases.

I know you’d never do that, Kevin.

I just want you to stay. We’ll do better, Kevin. I promise. Don’t leave us. We are going to miss your one or two page views per week. We might have to close up shop. Don’t think I’m being sarcastic or facetious. I care about you. More important, I don’t want you to become the one thing that apparently offends you most:

A useless white person.