Zimbabwean President Robert Mugabe is a terrible person. He’s stolen elections, he’s bankrupted the country’s economy, he’s murdered citizens and his wife beats models with extension cords (???), and the world will be a better place when he’s dead. (Speaking of which, he’s 93 years old, but don’t allow that to give you hope, because the way the world is set up now, he will probably live until he’s 223. God has forsaken us. And I think it’s because we put sugar on grits.)
That said, his face and the faces of the Zimbabwean delegation at the United Nations when Darth Cheeto was speaking Tuesday—a virtual gallery of annoyance, irritation and displeasure that can best be described as “hemorrhoidal”—are our faces when that motherfucker speaks. And when people attempt to explain Donald Trump’s base without using the terms “race,” “racism,” “black people,” “white supremacist” and “it’s simple; they just hate niggers” in their rationales. And when progressives line up to give Sean Spicer’s bitch ass a happy ending.
(These are also the faces of being forced to engage with flaccid chicken and misaligned potato salad at a cookout. Which makes sense because Trump does occasionally remind me of salmonella.)