(Damon's latest at EBONY provides some tips on helping the groom make it through a bachelor party alive)
1. Do not lose the bachelor:
This is easily the most important rule. There might be dozens of things happening — shots being taken, clubs being hopped, elephants being herded, more shots being taken, etc — but you can not lose sight of the bachelor. You must be aware of where he is at all times. Mainly because you do not want his fiancee to maim you after finding out you “lost” her soon-to-be-husband somewhere between Benihanas and the King of Diamonds.
2. Do not get more “turnt up” than the bachelor:
This is the first step in making sure #1 is followed. You’re definitely supposed to have fun. The bachelor wouldn't have invited you if he didn’t want you to have a good time. But, you can’t have such a good time that your actions end up influencing the party plans. Basically, don’t get so drunk that the party needs to be postponed so you can get your stomach pumped. The bachelor should be the only one getting his stomach pumped.
3. Do what the bachelor wants to do…not what you want him to do:
If he says “no strippers” —- then no strippers. If he says “no alcohol” — then no alcohol. If he wants to keep things lowkey —- then keep things lowkey. This is not the time to force him to do something he doesn’t really want to do. That’s what the wedding and marriage are for.
4. Do not allow him to cheat on his fiancee:
I know, I know, I know, I know. You can’t make a grown man do anything, it’s his decision, who are you to tell him “no?” blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.
Let me just say this. You’re right. You can’t make a grown man do anything. What you can do, though, is be his friend. And being a friend means that if you see him about to make an alcohol-fueled decision that could end his marriage before it even starts, do what you can to stop it, not encourage it.
Basically, you’re no longer his wingman. You’re his hall monitor.