The Chosen President Wishes Everyone a Happy Jesus' Death Day

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The president of the United States—the one whom his believers link to Jesus, or, more modestly, God—just wished everyone a “HAPPY GOOD FRIDAY” because he’s not only a fake Christian, he doesn’t understand how any of this works.

For those of us forced to wear church clothes on Sunday—I only had three kinds of clothes: church, school and play clothes—we know that Good Friday is not a day of celebration; it’s supposed to be a period of reflection as the day Jesus died for our sins before being resurrected on Sunday, aka Easter, which, don’t get me to lying, has a lot to do with a bunny and dyeing eggs.

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Look, I don’t claim to be a pastor, but even “Heathen Stephen” knows that no one says “HAPPY GOOD FRIDAY TO ALL!” That’s not a thing. It’s not a tweet. That’s not it, chief.

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The holiest of all places, Twitter, had a lot to say about the president’s dumb-ass tweet.

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This is from a Bishop Talbert Swan, who might be my favorite person on Twitter not named Jemele Hill:

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And then these tweets, which just wanted to point out the president’s mistake:

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Anyway, Jesus died for our sins but we’re all living in hell with this dumb-ass president in the White House.