No one has dominated the music charts in 2023 like SZA. The R&B star’s SOS spent 10 weeks as the No. 1 album on the Billboard 200 Albums chart and also broke the record for the most weeks atop the Top R&B/Hip-Hop Albums chart. Even with all that success, the “Kill Bill” singer still has moments of doubt. In an interview with The Wall Street Journal, she explained how those insecurities led her to question Drake’s motives while they worked on their collaboration “Slime You Out.”
She revealed that the vocals on the song are her original demo vocals, a choice she wasn’t on board with. She always planned to send the For All the Dogs rapper a second round of more polished vocals, but he used her first recordings.
“I just handed in the first draft to Drake, and he’s putting it on his album,” she said. “I’m scared because I handed in second vocals and he didn’t use that. And now I’m like, ‘Are you trying to sabotage me?’ I know that’s not true. I literally know that’s not true, but that’s how bad I feel about my first draft. When things come from an effortless space, I almost can’t enjoy it.”
This is a common issue for Black people, as we’re conditioned to expect things to be hard. We usually have to fight for every accomplishment and advancement, so when something feels too easy, it’s hard for us to trust it.
To help deal with some of her insecurities and anxiety, SZA sought help from a therapist. Unfortunately, after the box breathing techniques she was given failed to offer her the results she was looking for, she asked the person she was seeing about their methods. This is when she discovered she was actually speaking with a life coach and not a therapist.
“After I had box-breathed myself for three months and didn’t get better, I called her in a fucking frenzy like, ‘I’m about to commit myself to an institution today, I need help!’ I said, ‘What form of therapy do you do?’” SZA said.
“She was like, ‘I don’t have a clinical form of therapy because I’m not a licensed therapist, honey. I thought you knew that,’” she continued. “It turns out she was not a board-certified therapist. She was a fucking life coach.”
Thankfully, she also has songwriting to provide a stress-relieving reprieve from her anxiety. Getting her emotions out through music allows her to feel “empty.”
“When I leave the studio, I feel better and empty,” the “All the Stars” artist said. “There’s no better sleep than empty-brain sleep, and that can only come after I’ve been in the studio for 10 hours and done something good in there.”
SZA is not an overnight success. R&B fans have been following her for years, anticipating her big breakout moment. However, as excited as we are for her to have all this success, it’s important to remember that jumping to a new level of fame comes with a price, so we need to offer her support and positivity as she finds her footing in this new element.