Imagine spitting game so trash the shit potentially gets you sent to jail? Couldn’t be me. Though apparently that’s the case for a New York man who was turned in to the FBI after bragging about allegedly storming the Capitol to a Bumble match only a week after the riot transpired.
According to the Washington Post, Robert Chapman of Carmel, N.Y., was trying to holler at a person on Bumble and thought “Ay, lemme tell you bout that time I tried to commit insurrection” was totally the move. There’s a lot of ways you can try to court a person, but bragging about crimes you allegedly committed only works for like Jay-Z, DaBaby, and maybe 50 Cent? Chapman had posted pictures of himself in the Capitol all over social media, and the unnamed Bumble match had asked Chapman if he was one of the people who stormed the Capitol.
“I did storm the capitol,” Chapman replied, according to court documents. “I made it all the way to Statuary Hall!” He then proceeded to brag about being interviewed by the Wall Street Journal and Washington Post about his alleged crime.
This dude clearly never watched Anchorman. If he did, he would’ve known he should’ve laid low for awhile, because he was probably wanted for *checks notes* trespassing at the U.S. Capitol and disrupting official government operations (that’s what the FBI charged him with).
After bragging about his treasonous ways, the Bumble match simply replied, “We are not a match.” Oof! I felt that, and I’m not even the one who got rejected for sedition. The match, who is still unnamed, proceeded to take screenshots of their chat and then forwarded them to the FBI on Jan. 13.
From the Washington Post:
After getting the tip, the FBI agent reviewed body camera footage recorded by D.C. police on Jan. 6. The video showed Chapman standing inside Statuary Hall using his cellphone camera to record the crowd, according to court records.
Screenshots of the video filed as evidence show Chapman, with distinctive thick sideburns and wearing a black-and-white bandanna across his brow, surrounded by other protesters inside the Capitol.
Investigators also scoured Facebook for evidence. They found a woman had posted a photo of Chapman, in the same bandanna, smiling for a selfie inside Statuary Hall.
“My Dear friend and Brostar Robert made it in the Capitol building at the protest yesterday,” the woman wrote, according to a screenshot of the post filed in court records. “Wooo Hooooooooo!!!!”
The FBI also found pictures of Chapman in the Capitol with the caption “I’M FUCKING INSIDE THE CRAPITOL!!!” When people basically called him trash in the comments, he replied that they were “trolls” and “keyboard warriors who don’t do a fucking thing.” Welp, it looks like thanks to one of those keyboard warriors, he’s now facing charges. Chapman appeared in virtual court on Thursday and was released on his own recognizance.
So I guess if there’s anything to learn here, it’s that incriminating yourself to try and impress a Bumble match is probably not the move.