On rare occasions, the cyclical nature of the universe creates a situation where yin meets yang, the sowers of havoc must reap the fruits of their nefarious harvest and the dispensers of bitter pills finally get a taste of their own medicine. Or, as the great educator, philosopher, and vegan animal rights activist Bugs Bunny once opined to wabbit-hunting enthusiast Elmer James Fudd:
“It ain’t no fun when the rabbit got the gun.”
Such was the case when a situation of police officers walked into a Starbucks and was reportedly told to stay out of sight or leave, on Independence Day, no less! (Yes, an assemblage of fish is a “school;” more than three lions are referred to as a “pride” and a group of police officers is commonly called a “situation.” Unless you’re black, in which case it is called “danger.”)
The Arizona Republic reports that six Tempe Police Department officers were drinking coffee at a local Starbucks when a barista informed the cops that they were making an unnamed customer feel unsafe. The Starbucks employee allegedly asked the lawmen to stay of sight or leave the establishment. After the officers left, the hashtag #DumpStarbucks began to emerge after the Tempe Officers Association sent a tweet excoriating the coffee-making corporation for Jim Crow-ing cops.
“This treatment of public safety workers could not be more disheartening. While the barista was polite, making such a request at all was offensive. Unfortunately, such treatment has become all too common in 2019,” said the Association in a separate Twitter statement. “We know this is not a national policy at Starbucks Corporate and we look forward to working collaboratively with them on this important dialogue.”
The move immediately prompted outrage from the liberal-hating “Blue Lives Matter” crowd who were already incensed about suffering the injustices of a black Ariel, Nikes with no American flags and—I swear this is true—homosexuality and women’s right to choose.
On Saturday, Starbucks responded to the backlash with an apology to the entire Tempe Police Department, explaining that the officers “should have been welcomed and treated with dignity and the utmost respect.”
“Instead, they were made to feel unwelcome and disrespected, which is completely unacceptable,” the statement from Executive Vice President Rossann Williams continued. “What occurred in our store on July 4 is never the experience your officers or any customer should have, and at Starbucks, we are already taking the necessary steps to ensure this doesn’t happen again in the future.”
With the situation hopefully defused, everyone can go back to enjoying their $32 cups of coffee and feeling protected by the Tempe Police Department, whose brave employees shot and killed 14-year-old Dalvin Hollins, mentally ill woman Michelle Cusseaux and countless others.
According to the Arizona Republic, the law enforcement officials of Maricopa County—where Tempe is located—shot 82 people in 2018, more than New York City, Los Angeles and Chicago combined.
Who’d feel unsafe around that?