Chris Brown
When Chris Brown stormed off the set of Good Morning America recently, smashing a window and screaming with rage after objecting to Robin Roberts' questions about his legal issues, everyone knew an apology was coming. But could we have guessed how unapologetic he would sound when he delivered it? Brown appeared on BET's 106 & Park to say that he was "disappointed" in his behavior, but proceeded to blame the show for "exploiting him." Someone let this man know there's only one victim in this scenario: the window.
Captions by Michael Arceneaux
Justin Timberlake
Not only did Justin Timberlake rip off Janet Jackson's top during the 2004 Super Bowl halftime show and help expose her nipple to a zillion people, but he also threw her under the bus shortly thereafter. Timberlake was quick to deny having knowledge of the stunt, and instead of joining her in refusing to adhere to CBS demands that they publicly apologize at the Grammy Awards, he attended and said sorry a second time. Five years later, he told Entertainment Weekly, "I am not sorry I apologized, but I wish I had been there more for Janet." Who else is still sorry he ever accepted Janet's request to perform at the show?
Michael Richards
In 2006, after hurling racial slurs and referencing lynchings during a rant aimed at a heckler in a Los Angeles comedy club, Seinfeld's Michael Richards went on The Late Show With David Letterman to prove he wasn't a racist; he just screamed like one. The awkward apology, which saw him compare his trash talk to wars between nations while constantly using the term "Afro-Americans," did him no favors.
Kanye West
Kanye West notoriously snatched the spotlight away from Taylor Swift after she bested Beyoncé for best female video at the 2009 MTV Video Music Awards, and in response to the overwhelmingly negative reaction to his stunt, the walking publicist's nightmare took to his blog to write: "I feel like Ben Stiller in Meet the Parents when he messed up everything and Robert De Niro asked him to leave." Had he left it at that and not gone on to later suggest that he made Taylor Swift's career, perhaps Kanye could have left this 2009 headline in 2009.
Tiger Woods
In response to accusations that he slept with half the hemisphere, Tiger Woods finally broke several months of silence at a tightly controlled and one-sided 2010 press conference that only Communist China could appreciate. During his nearly 14-minute statement, Woods channeled his inner sad puppy dog to say, "I was unfaithful. I had affairs. I cheated. What I did was not acceptable." The world let out a collective yawn and proceeded to envy his wife, Elin Nordegren, who was smart enough not to show up.
Joe Wilson
While President Obama addressed a joint session of Congress to outline his proposal for reforming health care, House Republican Joe Wilson shouted, "You lie!" when the president denied that the legislation would cover illegal immigrants. Later, the South Carolina representative said in a statement: "While I disagree with the president's statement, my comments were inappropriate and regrettable. I extend sincere apologies to the president for this lack of civility." If he really meant it, he would wear a muzzle.
John Mayer
After using crude sexual references to describe his ex-girlfriend Jessica Simpson, and saying he has a "n—-er pass" during a 2010 Playboy interview, John Mayer tweeted a vow that he would never use the n-word again. He then issued another apology onstage, promising not to play the "media game" anymore. No word on whether he still considers his penis a white supremacist.
Hugh Grant
The tabloids went crazy when Hugh Grant was arrested in 1995 for hooking up with prostitute Divine Brown, and he wasted no time in stating the obvious: "I did a bad thing, and there you have it." Hugh moved on, while Divine Brown used the money she made from media appearances to put her children through private school. All's well that ends well.
Akon
Singer and proud ex-convict Akon got in some trouble over a video of him simulating rape with a minor at a concert in Trinidad, and instead of the normal public apology, he decided to release the 2007 single "Sorry, Blame It on Me." Don't be fooled by the title; here is a sample of the lyrics: "I'm just a singer trying to entertain. Because I love my fans, I'll take that blame. Even though the blame's on you." Classy.
Isaiah Washington
Isaiah Washington wasted no time in releasing a statement apologizing for referring to his then-Grey's Anatomy co-star T.R. Knight with a gay slur. He wasted even less time reinserting his foot into his mouth by denying that he ever said it and then repeating the slur in the Golden Globes pressroom. Though he would go on to apologize a second time around, ABC execs ultimately told him, "Don't you come 'round here no more."
Mel Gibson
Mel Gibson had to apologize in 2006 for leveling anti-Semitic comments at a sheriff's deputy after being pulled over on suspicion of driving under the influence. Four years later, he reportedly sent an apology to ex-girlfriend and mother of his child, Oksana Grigorieva, for a violent assault that left her with a bruised eye and damaged teeth. We give him fewer than four years before he apologizes for something else.
David Letterman
After David Letterman made a joke about Sarah Palin's daughter being knocked up by New York Yankee Alex Rodriguez, the Fox News pundit accused the late-night talk show host of making "sexually perverted jokes" about her 14-year-old daughter. Letterman replied that he was referring to her 18-year-old daughter, Bristol Palin, who had recently given birth to a son. Much better.