Sen. Amy Klobuchar Exits Presidential Race, Endorses Biden on the Way Out

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Sen. Amy Klobuchar of Minnesota, a woman so savage that she once ate a salad with a comb, has ended her bid to become the Democratic presidential nominee and has endorsed rival former Vice President Joseph Robinette Biden Jr., according to reports.

The New York Times is reporting that Klobuchar is already scheduled to appear with Biden at his rally in Dallas Monday night. Klobuchar’s decision comes a day after America’s most favorite mayor, the only candidate for president to chill in a wine cave, former Mayor Pete Buttigieg of South Bend, Ind., announced that he too was bouncing from the race.

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The Times claims that with centrists Klobuchar and Buttigieg both out of the race, the Democratic nomination for president is now a three-headed horse race of white men, including Independent Sen. Bernie Sanders of Vermont, evil billionaire Michael Bloomberg and Biden. Yes, I know that Massachusetts Sen. Elizabeth Warren is still in the race, but does she know that she’s still in the race? A dismal fifth-place finish in South Carolina’s primary—along with lackluster showings in Iowa, New Hampshire and Nevada—could be signs that point to a possible Warren exit.

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Klobuchar actually had a strong showing in New Hampshire, where she finished third, but the Times notes that many of her rivals just saw her as a candidate stealing votes from white men who were actually going to win the nomination. That’s not a slight at women in the race or minorities because remember Deval Patrick? Yeah, I don’t either. But my point is, it was always going to be a white man at the top. I mean, look at Bloomberg: He paid his way into his position and he’s still there because he can fund his entire campaign without any support, which basically means he can close his ears and keep moving right along, which might be the most white man way of staying in an election.

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In truth, Klobuchar never stood a chance—at least not with black voters.

From the Times:

The Klobuchar campaign was constantly rescheduling events, oftentimes releasing public advisories for an event with less than 24 hours advance notice. One “get out the caucus” rally in Nevada at Rancho High School attracted less than 100 people. Days before, Pete Buttigieg, the former mayor of South Bend, Ind., brought more than 1,200 to the same school.

Ms. Klobuchar was forced to cancel a rally in her own backyard Sunday night, after protesters from Black Lives Matter and other local civil rights groups took over the stage in St. Louis Park, Minn. They were calling attention to the case of Myon Burrell, a black man convicted of murder as a teenager while Ms. Klobuchar was county attorney.

Recent news reports have raised questions about the case, including numerous reported flaws with the prosecution. Ms. Klobuchar, while stopping short of apologizing, has called for the case to be reviewed.

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Maybe now she can devote all of her time to making sure that Burrell gets a fair trial since she appeared to be so compassionate about calling for the case to be looked into, which she’s never going to make right with black voters until she does.

You had a nice run, Klobuchar and, who knows, maybe we will see you again some day; until then, keep a fork in your purse (my grandmother did!) because you never know when you’re going to be on a plane with a salad and no plastic silverware in sight. Also, your absence will be noted as Elizabeth Warren now remains the last woman standing.

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Managing Editor Genetta Adams: Tulsi Gabbard is still in the race.

Me: Who?

GA: Gabbard, the Russian operative.

Me: Oh yeah. I forgot about her and so did the rest of America.