Secretary of State Rex Tillerson Has 1 Foot Out of the White House and the Other on a Banana Peel

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Secretary of State Rex Tillerson is currently updating his LinkedIn profile to include his work at the White House. He’s spent a good portion of his morning calling friends to see who’s hiring, and practicing saying the word “funemployment,” because he’s out. Everyone knows he’s out, including Tillerson. Which is the reason he’s been combing through his Facebook contacts to see with whom he should be taking coffee over the coming weeks because he’s going to have a ton of free time on his hands.

Tillerson, much like the rest of the appointees in the White House, was a disaster from the start.

Here’s how CNN categorized his time in his gifted position:

Administration officials have chafed at Tillerson’s resistance to [Donald] Trump policy positions, lawmakers have expressed alarm about his cuts to the State Department, staff there decry the agency’s dysfunction and senior members of the U.S. national security establishment from both parties warn that he is creating a “national security emergency,” in the words of former Secretary of State Madeleine Albright.

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So if rumors coming out of the White House are to be believed, which they are, Tillerson is out and will be replaced by CIA Director Mike Pompeo.

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Sen. Tom Cotton, the goofy, Trump-loving Arkansas Republican who would hold the president’s nut sack if asked nicely, would most likely be expected to take over the reins at the CIA.

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When asked by reporters about Tillerson’s potential dismissal, CNN reports that Trump offered, “He’s here, Rex is here,” which we all know in Trump-speak means, he’s here today, but I can’t guarantee that he’ll be here tomorrow.

White House press secretary Sarah “Suckabee” Sanders echoed the president’s position. Seriously, she literally repeated the exact phrase, “Rex is here.”

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She did add, in a statement viewed by CNN, “Secretary Tillerson continues to lead the State Department and the entire Cabinet is focused on completing this incredibly successful first year of President Trump’s administration.”

I expect the president to break something in the Oval Office because he’s upset that he can’t stop leaks from coming out of the White House, but Tillerson is done. In fact, the only thing prolonging his exit is the fact that the press got wind of it early, and there is one thing the president can’t stand, and that’s being upstaged.

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Let’s not forget that Tillerson once reportedly called Trump a “moron,” and we all know that’s all it takes for President Petty to cast you out of the kingdom (Mama Dee voice).

Read more at CNN.