Longtime GOP operative and wearer of custom-made Steve Harvey suits, Roger Stone was arrested early Friday morning. He was charged in special counsel Robert Mueller’s Russia investigation with one count of obstruction, five counts of making false statements, and one count of witness tampering.
Stone posted $250,000 bail and walked out of jail like he was a rock star. He literally did the whole Nixon-double-peace-sign-thing and then spoke about how he has no plans to snitch on his main man and his apple scrap from way back, President Trump.
In truth, we all need someone to love us the way that Roger Stone loves Trump and Roger Stone. It’s a strange three-way love, and somehow Stone has convinced himself he’s doing the lord’s work of protecting the president as he already said that he won’t testify against the president. He also said shortly after his release from prison—in which he walked out to chants of “lock him up,” which he likely heard as “love me some him”—that he will be giving more interviews in the days to come because Stone lives for spotlight even if the spotlight is a shining light during an interrogation.
“I am falsely accused of making false statements,” Stone said before adding that he looked “forward to being vindicated,” The Hill reports.
“There is no circumstance whatsoever under which I will bear false witness against the president,” Stone said, “nor will I make up lies to ease the pressure on myself.”
So expect to get a heavy dose of Roger Stone on all the news channels because nobody loves some Roger Stone like Roger Stone, and we should’ve figured as much considering this is a grown man with a Richard Nixon back tattoo and a wide-leg suit game that would make a Detroit pastor jealous.
A smiling Stone told those gathered, “As I have always said, the only thing worse about being talked about is not being talked about.”
Spoken like a true stunt queen.