Report: NFL Schedules Workout for Colin Kaepernick

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After nearly three years of being whiteballed by the NFL, quarterback, activist and majestic 3C-Afro rocker Colin Kaepernick will reportedly audition for a roster spot at a workout arranged by the National Football League.

Organized by former coaches and NFL combine personnel, the NFL has invited representatives from all 32 league teams to a one-man scouting combine in Atlanta on Saturday. The former 49ers signal-caller will go through a complete workout and will be available for interviews afterward, according to a “leaked” memo from the National Football League, reported by NFL.com “sources” and displayed prominently on the NFL’s website. (Hmmm... I wonder where that “leak” came from?)

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NFL insider Adam Schefter, who somehow knows everything five minutes before it happens, confirmed the story with his “sources,” which is definitely not the NFL (wink, wink).

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The league has reportedly been in contact with Kaepernick’s representatives and several teams have expressed interest in the six-season veteran. A rash of injuries this year has sidelined some of the biggest names in football this season, including Ben Roethlisberger, Drew Brees, Cam Newton, Nick Foles and Nathan Peterman (What? There are five syllables in “Nathan Peterman,” which technically makes his name bigger than Tom Brady.)

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The 32-year-old has been...umm... unsigned since the end of the 2016 season. It’s probably just a coincidence that 2016 was the same year he began protesting injustice and inequality during the pregame playing of the national anthem. In February, he settled a grievance with the NFL after accusing the league of colluding to keep him out.

If Kaepernick returns, that team will probably become Black America’s favorite and anyone who sacks him will probably get their ass kicked by my Aunt Joyce.

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In other news, sources say Jay-Z has scheduled a meeting with all 32 teams to ask how this will affect his check.