Punks Jump Up to Get Beat Down: Alabama Slaps Up Ohio State for 18th National Football Title

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Head coach Nick Saban of the Alabama Crimson Tide reacts after defeating the Ohio State Buckeyes 52-24 in the College Football Playoff National Championship game at Hard Rock Stadium on January 11, 2021 in Miami Gardens, Florida.
Head coach Nick Saban of the Alabama Crimson Tide reacts after defeating the Ohio State Buckeyes 52-24 in the College Football Playoff National Championship game at Hard Rock Stadium on January 11, 2021 in Miami Gardens, Florida.
Photo: Kevin C. Cox (Getty Images)

There are certain things in life that are inevitable.

Taxes are a great example, as is horrendous customer service. But when it comes to sports, after decades of empirical evidence, it’s safe to assume that Nick Saban will hoist up the College Football Playoff National Championship Trophy at the conclusion of every college football season.

Last night, the greatest college football coach in the history of ever did it again, crushing the Ohio State Buckeyes 52-24 in a championship game that felt about as competitive as dunking on your little brother in the backyard. With last night’s win, Alabama won its 18th national title in program history. And because he’s a greedy bastard, Saban also happened to collect his record seventh national championship because that’s what happens when you’re the greatest to ever do it.

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Powered by one of the most potent offenses in the history of the program, future NFL stars Najee Harris, quarterback Mac Jones, and 2020 Heisman winner DeVonta Smith—who was last seen moonwalking on water—showed up to show out in their final games as collegiate athletes. Especially Smith, who cooked the Buckeyes with 215 receiving yards and three touchdowns by the half before exiting the game with a dislocated finger.

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“I think we’re the best team to ever play,” Jones told reporters after the game. “There’s no team that will ever play an SEC schedule like that again. At the same time, we’re just so happy to have won this game and kind of put the icing on the cake.”

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Saban offered his own opinion on this team’s place in history.

“No disrespect to any other teams that we had or any championship teams, but this team won 11 SEC games,” he said. “No other team has done that. They won the SEC, went undefeated in the SEC, then they beat two great teams in the playoffs (Notre Dame and Ohio State) with no break in between.

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“This is our fifth game in a row, from LSU to Arkansas to Florida to Notre Dame to here. Played 13 games, went undefeated with all the disruption that we had in this season. I think there’s quite a bit to write about when it comes to the legacy of the team.”

He ain’t lying.

Gaudy numbers and multiple broken records aside, the degree of risk and sacrifice that these collegiate athletes subjected themselves to is unfathomable. So to persevere and emerge victorious with the national championship in tow? In the middle of a global pandemic? Yeah, I’d be talking my shit, too.

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“Yes, we really are the best team because we worked hard,” Alabama defensive lineman Christian Barmore Barmore said. “We didn’t hear the outside noise. We ignored the COVID stuff. We just worked hard together. We just really grinded out for this, camp, scrimmages, everything.”

And now a handful of these players woke up on Tuesday morning knowing they’ll soon be millionaires—including receiver Jaylen Waddle.

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Prior to last night, the early Heisman favorite had missed most of the season with a fractured ankle. But hell-bent on contributing to Alabama’s championship, and against the wishes of his future NFL peers, Waddle brushed off concerns about his injury and returned to the field—prematurely—with mixed results.

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I’m all for leaving it all on the field, but fam, you’re about to be rich regardless. You should’ve enjoyed the ass whooping from the couch like the rest of us and completely avoided putting your NFL career in jeopardy.

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But at the end of the day, I suppose this is Nick Sabana’s world and we’re all just living in it. So shout out to the Crimson Tide for doing the damn thing Monday night.