Whew, chile. One Black gay influencer on TikTok had the app in complete shambles for the past two days. And now, women all around the world are likely looking at their men a bit more closely thanks to his new “list.”
Meet Anwar White. A content creator, dating coach for women of color, and “your fairy godbrother,” per his TikTok bio, who has amassed an extremely popular following online. White, who has over 926K followers on TikTok and 326K on Instagram, often posts dating content dedicated to helping single women find true love. His popular videos include topics like “Dating Compliments That are Actually Insults,” “What a Man’s Face Will Tell You in Dating,” and even a TikTok providing juicy “Celebrity D Tea — allegedly,” where he shares his speculation on the genitalia size of your favorite celebrities, including LeBron James, Trevante Rhodes, and Aaron Pierre, but that’s tea for another day.
His content has became so popular, that as soon as his followers hear his signature opening word “Girl,” I “am locked INNNNN,” one user wrote in his comment section. He even offers consultations, programs, and courses, per his official website, where he boasts of his “own proprietary dating strategy that allows my clients to date high quality guys consistently.”
But it’s his latest video, “The Signs That a Guy is DL in Dating,” is what’s taking the internet by storm.
The clip, shared Saturday, March 29, has gone viral, as he provides hints to look out for to tell whether a man is on the down-low. The term down-low, or “DL” for short, is African-American slang referring to men who publicly identify as heterosexual, but secretly engage in sexual activity with other men, while often dealing with women.
“It’s dangerous out there, and down-low men are actually narcissistic and it’s dangerous to be with them,” he began in the clip.
His viral — and controversial — list isn’t quite down to a science but does include some tips that has some legitimacy based on behavior and patterns.
Black Men Who Love Them Some Booty
His first hint was directed to Black men who are always talking about “butt, butt, butt.” White called them “Beavis and Butthead. He doesn’t care who is attached to that butt, he just wants it.”
Momma’s Boys — And Non-Momma’s Boys
He also called out men who have extreme feelings about their mothers, because he either “really hates her, or he really loves her, [and] that is representative of how he’s going to feel about women, and often times it’s not healthy.” According to the Gay Therapy Center, gay men are close to their mothers because they were usually “the first or only person to accept their son’s more ‘feminine’ interests. She might have provided a place for you to develop the real you, rather than the false self that needed to butch it up at school.”
The Breakdown by Ethnicity
Hispanic
The 15-year dating coach even broke down the traits to look out for based on ethnicity. For example, he says if a man is Hispanic and he’s an alcoholic, hates his dad or his dad hates him, DL.
Caucasian
If he’s a beard-having white man whose an alcoholic and hangs out with his boys more than his girlfriend, DL.
Asian
If he’s East Asian, he’s probably extremely competitive with women, and because of that, he’s “mean to women and [was] probably chubby when he was a kid because he was trying to eat the gay away.”
Indian or Middle Eastern
White also noted to look out for Indian or Middle Eastern men who “try to control what you’re wearing” because, in reality, “they’re trying to play Barbies with you.”
Nigerian
If he’s Nigerian and went to boarding school, yep you guessed it, he’s “probably DL because he had his first sexual experience with a boy.”
Mean Nigerian Husbands
If a Nigerian man is married, look out for how they treat their wives. Do they ignore them? Neglect them or are mean to them? Wouldn’t know if they were together while out in public? DL.
Celebrities
“If he’s a celebrity and he’s changed his name multiple times... he doesn’t know his identity and he’s running away from his true identity,” White added. Anyone specific come to mind?
Professional Athletes
He also named the professional athletes who are “oftentimes going to be the loner on the team or the biggest cheerleader — that’s why a lot of them become coaches.” For context, working in sports automatically places you around men nearly around the clock.
Pastors, The D and Pulpits
The church isn’t safe, either. White called out the pastors who “do a lot of one-on-one mentoring sessions with young men. He’s probably on the DL.”
“Gay for the Stay”
His list pivoted to men who served prison time “for more than three years. Ask any prison guard, girl, he’s DL.” White compared it to “long covid because you’re always gonna have it.” That hint speaks for itself, as the lack of women ultimately encourages prisoners to use what — and who’s — around for their sexual desires.
Military
He also name-dropped the military, but most specifically the Navy, or the “Gay-vy,” because that’s exactly “where the gays guys go.”
“100 men go out to sea girl you’re gonna come back with 50 couples,” White said of the DL Navy members, declaring how their deployments are disguised as “honeymoons” as they enjoy “a cruise sleeping on top of each other.” Per a Reddit post, the Navy is indeed considered the “gay branch” because “there are a bunch of seamen on a boat together, trapped for months at a time. It ain’t gay if it’s underway and it ain’t queer at the pier.” Another Reddit user reasoned it’s because of the “location. Navy’s big bases are in Hawaii, San Diego, Seattle, Jacksonville, Virginia Beach, and Connecticut. Almost all of the locations are moderate to liberal, which attracts more open minded people.”
Baby Daddies
Men who have “more than four kids with multiple women is probably DL,” White continued, implying its because women just don’t satisfy them so they engage sexually with numerous women while in deep denial.
Extra Freaky Bedroom Lovers
He also named men who are extremely aggressive during intimacy because he is “hate f-ing you because he hates you and hates women.”
White ended his list with a message to his followers, to take it as an 80/20 rule. “All of these signs are DL signs, but in these groups you see it more often,” he warned. White concluded, “I hope this helps.”