White people, I need you to listen.
No, seriously; lean in close, hear this and hear this well...
*clears throat*
POSTING STUPID AND RACIST SHIT ONLINE WILL FUCK WITH YOUR EMPLOYMENT!!
I’m not even telling you to stop being stupid and racist—this is America, the land of stupidity and racism, after all—I’m actually trying to do you a favor by clueing you in to the fact that the digital age hasn’t been very kind to oblivious white people, especially public servants and public officials who insist on sharing any and all dumbass thoughts that come to their out-of-touch minds.
A Pennsylvania police officer has been suspended because, in 2021, he still doesn’t understand how social media works outside of how to press “record” and “send.” The officer in question had the nerve to take his white-and-blue ass on Lil Nas X’s internet and post a TikTok video from inside his police car where he whitesplains that the Confederate flag is not racist and that the negroes need to “get the fuck over themselves.”
NBC affiliate WETM reports that Officer Brian Gossert of the Mansfield Borough Police Department was suspended for “making racist, sexual, and inflammatory comments about slavery, liberals, and several other controversial topics” while in full uniform and in his patrol car.
“I don’t understand how [the Confederate flag] is racist; it represents the South,” Officer Nooses-for-handcuffs said in his ill-advised video, which has since been removed from TikTok’s platform. “Just like the Union flag represents the North. No one says that the Union flag is racist. So why are we saying the Confederate flag is racist?”
He then proceeds to answer his own dumbass question before going on to pretend anything he had to say was worth a damn.
“So yeah, technically they fought for slavery, I guess you could say, but again, that’s been over 200 years ago,” Great Value Mark Fuhrman continued. “I think it’s time that people just like, get the fuck over themselves. Because, if, if that’s true—if the symbolism behind that flag is still that hurtful now, then we should still hate the South. So, why hate them for something that no one is alive from anymore?”
For the record: 1865—the year slavery was legally abolished—was not “over 200 years ago,” but I’m sure no one expects this idiot to be good at math.
So here we have a white man who is in charge of policing neighborhoods where Black people likely exist who doesn’t think slavery was a big enough deal for people to still be offended by a flag that represents white people’s attempt at preserving it.
There’s been a national spotlight on systemic racism in policing since last summer, and there’s currently a whole-ass highly publicized trial going on in connection to the case that arguably sparked America’s racial awakening, but Officer The-South-will-rise-again thought this was a good time to get controversial online.
Of course, no whiny right-winger diatribe would be complete without the man who just came off of a “the past is the past” rant mentioning that Democrats are responsible for slavery and the KKK.
“You want to know who started the KKK, the fucking Democrats, probably the same party that you agree with,” Caucasity Cop said. “So again, get fucked, like read a fucking history book. Everyone wants to call cops racist but yeah you know who starts racism, Democrats.”
I’m not sure why conservatives think it matters that Democrats were in favor of slavery—especially since they were the same “Dixiecrats” from the same South that Gossert was just defending—but I’m not interested in wasting time explaining to willfully obtuse white people how the “Southern strategy” changed the Republican and Democrat Party platforms. It’s also not lost on me that a guy who doesn’t even seem to know when slavery ended is telling people to “read a fucking history book.”
Anyway, according to WETM, “Gossert made additional graphic comments regarding violence and sexual references while in his police car,” and he only paused from his display of slavery apologist nonsense to arrest someone for an apparent drug offense.
“Oh, fun stuff. This is why you don’t do meth,” Officer But-somebody-had-to-pick-the-cotton said on video after he got back in his car, according to the New York Post.
On Wednesday, the Mansfield Borough Council posted the following statement to its Facebook page:
“The Mansfield Borough Council is aware that a borough police officer posted offensive videos on a social media platform which were recorded and posted while he was on duty. The Borough Council is appalled and outraged by this conduct. The officer has been suspended and an investigation is proceeding. The views expressed in these videos do not reflect the values of the Borough government.”