| ROOTED | BOOTED |
 |  |
| Sleepovers with the president's daughters | Hangovers with the president's daughters |
 |  |
| Being proud of your country for the first time in your adult life | "I just don't want us to fall backwards." |
| David Gregory Dancing | George Bush Dancing |
| Shepherd Park, D.C. | McLean, VA. |
| Palling around with Clintonites | Palling around with terrorists |
| The Constitution | Presidential signing statements |
| Nate Silver | Mark Penn |
| Poker in the White House | Gambling away the federal budget |
| Politically-inspired animated films | Animals acting like dimwit humans in animated films |
 |  |
| 10-piece live bands | Auto-Tune |
| Compilation albums | Sampling |
| Public libraries | Starbucks |
| True Blood | Mad Men |
| The Daily Beast | Huffington Post |
| Loving your kids | Returning your kids |
| Smoking bans | Oxygen bars |
| Soul food at Henry's | Soul food at Harold's |
| Skype | Human contact |
| Scribd | Flash drives |
 |  |
| Hulu | Bootleg DVDs |
 |  |
| Chilled Cabernet Franc | Room-temperature Merlot |
| Italian Lacinato kale | Southern collard greens |
 |  |
| Tweeting your break-up | Texting your break-up |
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