NYPD's Shake Shack 'Incident' Was a Whole-Ass Lie

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Photo: Timothy A. Clary (AFP via Getty Images )

Last week, the New York Police Department drew the ire of the internet after some officers claimed that a Shake Shack had poisoned the shakes some officers ordered. Rather predictably, it turned out to be a whole-ass lie.

Vanity Fair reports that a sergeant in the NYPD saw an opportunity after three officers told them that their shakes tasted funny. The officers placed a mobile order so whoever made the shakes likely didn’t know the people picking them up were cops. Nevertheless, the sergeant sent the officers to the Bellevue Hospital and the Emergency Service Unit was set up at the Shake Shack. The officers were released from the hospital without showing any adverse symptoms.

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At this point, a Bronx lieutenant sent an email to multiple police unions that inflated the number to six cops and said they had “started throwing up after drinking beverages they got from Shake Shack on 200 Broadway,” Vanity Fair reports. Multiple police organizations joined in on spreading this rumor. The Detectives Endowment Association tweeted that the cops were “intentionally poisoned by one or more workers at the Shake Shack.” Then, the Police Benevolent Association jumped in and said that the cops were “under attack” by a “toxic substance, believed to be bleach,” while the president of the organization made a hospital visit to the symptomless cops.

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Security camera footage in the restaurant would later prove what anyone with an inkling of sense figured—the cops weren’t poisoned. Instead, the incident was chalked up to residue from the cleaning solution used in the machines. All tweets about the incident were then deleted by the various police organizations.

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This isn’t the first time that cops have been caught creating self-victimizing narratives. Earlier this month, the New York Post reported that the NYPD alleged protesters were concealing concrete as chocolate chip ice cream despite having very little evidence. Last week, Karen the cop had the traumatic experience of- *takes deep breath* -not getting her McMuffin in a timely manner. Can you believe what these cops have to go through? Imagine having to brutalize a community on an empty stomach.

As calls for police reform grow louder, cops are getting more desperate in creating narratives where they are the true victims. Why they continue targeting service workers who aren’t even paid a living wage to do this eludes me. The behavior of the NYPD hasn’t gone unnoticed, though, as City Council members Corey Johnson and Ritchie Torres have demanded that a probe be launched as a result of these incidents.