Nick Cannon, Eminem and Suge Knight Walk Into a Bar...

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Nick Cannon, left, attends the Hollywood Chamber of Commerce 2019 State of The Entertainment Industry Conference on Nov. 21, 2019 in Hollywood, Calif.; Eminem attends the ‘Southpaw’ New York Premiere on July 20, 2015, in New York City; Marion “Suge” Knight during sentencing on Oct. 4, 2018, in Los Angeles.
Nick Cannon, left, attends the Hollywood Chamber of Commerce 2019 State of The Entertainment Industry Conference on Nov. 21, 2019 in Hollywood, Calif.; Eminem attends the ‘Southpaw’ New York Premiere on July 20, 2015, in New York City; Marion “Suge” Knight during sentencing on Oct. 4, 2018, in Los Angeles.
Photo: Michael Tran (Getty Images), Dimitrios Kambouris (Getty Images), Pool David McNew (Getty Images)

I mean, this has to be a joke, right?

Apparently not, as Marshall “Eminem” Mathers sounded mighty angry in a guest verse on Fat Joe and Dre’s recent release, Family Ties, which isn’t a reliable barometer because Eminem always sounds angry. I digress. Anyway, as XXL mag reports, the rapper who originally referred to himself “Slim Shady” decided to shade Cannon during his feature on the album song, “Lord Above.” For some reason, he decided to callback to the stale feud, which started back in 2009.

XXL adds:

Nick and Eminem’s long-standing rap feud started back in 2009. Em revisits it on Fat Joe’s song “Lord Above.” In his verse, Slim Shady jokingly raps that Nick’s ex-wife Mariah Carey, whom Em has insisted he used to date, neutered him during their marriage.

“I know me and Mariah didn’t end on a high note/But that other dude’s whipped-that pussy got him neutered,” he spits on the song. “Tried to tell him this chick’s a nut job before he got his jewels clipped/Almost got my caboose kicked/Fool, quit/You not gonna do shit/I let her chop my balls off too before I lose to you, Nick.”

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The last time I remember Eminem doing something of note was when he snatched the wig off of the dilapidated basketball known as the U.S. president at the BET Hip Hop Awards in 2017. So, you mean to tell me the most recent times Em’s trended in the news is because he brings up old shit? Noted.

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This past Friday on his radio show Nick Cannon Mornings, Nick decided to challenge Eminem to a rap battle, even going as far as to invite him on his improv show Wild ‘N Out.

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But Monday is when things went a step further, with Cannon releasing a diss track of his own. If that news alone isn’t “WTF” enough, the song features Suge Knight. That’s right, Marion “Suge” Knight.

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The track starts with an automated voice “You know I don’t do no talking, but Nick is family,” Suge says. “Eminem’s a bitch!”

“Call Kim, somebody get Hailey and that other kid you raising that ain’t even your baby,” Nick raps in his verse, hitting back with that same energy of taking shots at the familial unit. “Took a page out of Drake book, this might get a Grammy/We going back to back until you respond—on the family/My baby mama killed you off a decade ago/You still crying about it bitch, now who really the hoe?”

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Yeah, that happened. So, if you want to know the punchline to the joke I presented at the beginning of this blog, I suppose you’d have to wait to see if Eminem responds…

If you’d like to spend your day asking “Why?” over and over again with various inflections, you can listen to the full track below:

The Invitation (official audio) / Nick Cannon (The Root)