Monday's Headlines

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AP: Sri Lankan Civilians Stay in War Zone Despite Lull

ABC: Face Transplant Patient Doing Well; No Longer Responds to "Michael Steele"

BBC: Obama to Lift Cuba Restrictions; Lovers of Freedom Hate This, Not Sure Why

JJ: An Anti-Gay Marriage Commercial Parody

CK: Watch the White House Easter Egg Roll; No, It's Not a Dance

Bossip: Maybe…Maybe the Young Lady Doesn't Own a TV or Ears and Eyes

WP: An Early Military Win for Obama; Next Stop: China

WSJ: The Ice Man Speaketh: 'Everyone Should Pay Income Taxes'

NYT: White Woman Marries Colored, Has Baby; Under Duress Develops Racial Self-Awareness

WP: Realizing They're Fighting Somali Pirates, Navy Rescues Captain, Ask If He Likes Fishsticks

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MW: GM Preparing for Possible Bankcruptcy (As Opposed to What We Don't Know)

WSJ: Thank You America, Can We Have Another?! Oil Industry Braces for Drop in Gas Demand

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Reuters: China's Economy Improves, Japan's Doesn't; Japan Wishes It Was Opposite Day

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NYT:Bo Knows the White House: First Family Finds Fido, Pooch Escapes Recession's Pinch*

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NYT: Black Voters Dissatisfied with Gov. Paterson; Say to Friends, Colleagues "That's Your Boy"

PI: A Cutting Edge Concept: Obama's Influence Culture in Several Ways, Like Clothing For Example

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ESPN: Bucs Sign Leftwich to 4-Year Deal; Team Execs Swear They've Seen Him Play

JA: Surviving Scientists Discuss Creating the Package from the Enola Gay

CNN: Shelter Offers Free Weddings for Homeless; Happy Couples Register at the Supermarket

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*You Care Little, We're About the Same

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