My mom once worked at the mall managing the Santa booth. It was the holiday season and I’d come to see my mom, who had begun to hate her job. When I walked over to her booth, I was shocked to see that there was a black Santa.
“Oh, look, you guys have a black Santa,” I said to my mother.
“Santa is a snitch bitch!” my mother shot back.
I don’t know what happened that day, or why black Santa had upset my mother, but I remember thinking that this is the woman who gave me my gift for language, and I felt proud.
Vice President Mike Pence is America’s black Santa. Not all black Santas—since I’m sure that there are good ones as individuals and as a collective group—but the black Santa who upset my mom during my visit, because Pence reportedly ratted out his Phi Gamma Delta frat bros who had smuggled a keg into a party on a dry campus.
And doesn’t that sound like a really Mike Pence thing to do?
The Root staff writer Michael Harriot has a theory about Mike Pence. He believes that every anonymous tip the police have ever received is one caller: Mike Pence. He notes that Mike Pence can’t stand rap because he’s furious that he doesn’t know who let the dogs out.
Harriot adds: “If Harriet Tubman was alive, she would say: I freed thousands of slaves, and I could’ve freed more if it weren’t for niggas like Mike Pence!”
According to a firsthand account from Pence’s former frat brother Dan Murphy in The Atlantic, when Pence was a sophomore at Hanover College, a small Presbyterian school with a strict no-alcohol policy, he alerted the dean to his frat brothers’ keg.
At the time, Animal House was the big movie, and Pence’s frat bros were re-creating wild party scenes like the one in the movie. They’d established this complex plan to bring kegs into the frat house, and Pence’s job was to clear things up with the adults should things go wrong.
One night the party got pretty wild, and some of Pence’s frat bros got wind that a dean was coming to the house. Since Pence wasn’t really a hard partier—so Mike Pence—he was to meet the dean head-on and finesse the situation while his bros hid the evidence. According to Murphy, the dean came to the door and Pence, aka Black Santa, escorted him directly to the contraband and confirmed that the banned alcohol did belong to Phi Gamma Delta.
The entire fraternity was handed harsh punishments.
“They really raked us over the coals. The whole house was locked down,” Murphy told the magazine.
His frat bros didn’t take too kindly to Pence’s snitching, but as fate would have it, Pence was super tight with the school’s administration, which offered him a job after he graduated, the Atlantic reports.
Proving that Mike Pence is sooooo Mike Pence.
Read more at The Atlantic.