Cory Booker is at a crossroads.
Since his graceful exit from our upcoming presidential race, his affable nature and eternal optimism have struggled to find a place to call home. I mean, sure, he has the Senate and his constituency in New Jersey, but Cory is a man of the people, and apparently the people didn’t want his ass to be president.
That’s gotta hurt.
So perhaps eager to turn on the charm and prove he’s not some artificial intelligence program or soundboard gone rogue, T-Bone’s imaginary friend made an appearance on Fat Joe’s IG Live show, aptly titled “The Fat Joe Show,” and discussed his failed presidential bid, his relationship with Rosario Dawson and even his vegan diet.
He also shared his top five favorite rappers, which, if you look directly at, will allegedly turn you into salt. (I’m not taking that risk.)
Now the word “favorite” clearly indicates that his choices are subjective—mine would include the likes of Positive K and whoever muttered, “Here’s a hint, it’s like a long sharp sword!” on Wreckx-N-Effect’s “Rumpshaker”—but this ain’t the way, Cory. This ain’t the way.
And Twitter let him know about it.
Dammit, Cory.
When Fat Joe posed the same question to Rep. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez in April, she passed the test with flying colors.
“Not in order—Nas, Big Pun is up there, of course, we’ve got Biggie, I think 2Pac, and...the fifth one is so hard,” she said, before taking a minute to mull her final pick. “KRS-One.”
“You have a mean starting five, yo,” Joe replied. “I didn’t know I liked you this much! That’s crazy.”
I don’t know whose paper Cory copied his answers off of, but allegedly Carole Baskin is to blame.