The White House is in full panic mode after a major leak confirmed that the president of the United States spends most of his day doing absolutely nothing. Of course, his schedule doesn’t say that he’s doing absolutely nothing, but that is, in fact, what he’s doing—nothing.
According to leaked schedules obtained by Axios, the president doesn’t do shit all day, which is why he has so much time to tweet. Trump is usually up early and spends the first five hours of his day in his residency. It is assumed that he spends this time watching TV, making phone calls, and basically bullshitting.
“He’s always calling people, talking to people,” a senior White House official told Axios. “He’s always up to something; it’s just not what you would consider typical structure.”
He doesn’t usually meet with someone until 11 or 11:30 a.m., and usually, that person is his chief of staff. Then he falls into the gray area of “Executive Time.” This could include going down into the dungeon of the White House and petting the baby goats before his blood-letting ritual. Or it could include prank phone calls to world leaders in which Trump disguises his voice to sound like a police officer. Sometimes he just orders a bunch of fast food and eats it all himself.
On Jan. 18, Trump reportedly had one meeting scheduled and seven hours of “Executive Time.”
Chris Whipple, who studies presidential schedules, told Axios “there’s almost no [historical] parallel” for how Trump spends most of his days.
“The most important asset in any presidency is the president’s time,” Whipple added. “And Trump is a guy who gives new meaning to the notion of an unstructured presidency.”
The devil’s mouthpiece, White House press secretary Sarah Huckabee Sanders, told Axios that Trump “has a different leadership style than his predecessors and the results speak for themselves.”
“While he spends much of his average day in scheduled meetings, events, and calls, there is time to allow for a more creative environment that has helped make him the most productive president in modern history,” she added.
She also noted that the president is a lazy thot who doesn’t do shit but added that she took a blood oath to defend him so she’s stuck spouting off all kinds of nonsense to defend his lazy ass. (She didn’t. She might as well have.)
Trump is reportedly furious that his schedule, which should have been written in crayon because it looks a lot like a toddler’s, was leaked to the press and that he now has to explain why he has nap time, play time, and snack time to the public.