First things first: Rest in peace to my expectations. They’re gone. RIP. They’re no more; they’ve left the building. At least, that’s the case where Rihanna’s new music is concerned.
You see, I told y’all some time ago—I was done expecting musical things aka an album from Rih, especially when news dropped that she would be releasing a Caribbean cuisine-inspired cookbook. That said, with her latest trolling, I’mma just sit back, relax, re-apply my Fenty Gloss Bomb, get my edges ready for this Fenty Hair and revisit ANTI. (Since that’s the only full project she’s since felt so inclined to bless us with. Damn, do I sound bothered? I sound kinda bothered, don’t I? Let me chill.)
Speaking of ANTI, the 8th studio album from our Barbadian bad gal recently hit a major milestone. According to People, it’s now the first album by a Black woman artist to spend five years on the Billboard 200 chart. Rihanna Navy, standup! Celebrating the achievement in a video posted to social media, Rih captioned:
“Grateful to the most High for putting die hard supporters in my circle. #Anti #WomensHistoryMonth. Congrats to everyone that contributed to this era, thank you team.”
But of course in true Navy fashion, the celebration couldn’t just stay focused on ANTI for too long. “Celebrate by releasing a song,” one fan wrote. To which Rih replied, “I think I should soon, just one tho lol.”
Now girl. Why are you playing games on our phones like this? We all know that “soon” ain’t a date on the calendar. You ain’t slick. And as if that wasn’t enough, when another fan commented “ R9 is what we need,” per NME the Diamonds singer retorted: “Lemme have my moment nuuuhhh??? Lol”
*Deep, heavy Barbadian sigh*
Truth is, I’m tired. At this point, because Rih’s trolling skills are legendary and she’s hella busy building her empire, I really don’t know what to believe. All I know is that whenever—if ever—she decides to drop another project, I’ll be here. Waiting. Once again.