Love & Hip Hop Hollywood Season 2: Episode 10 Recap

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Last week I took a bit of a flyer on the recap by "talking" to Shanda about why she wanted so badly to get back on that pole. Luckily, this week, we got to SEE her on that pole - as God intended, apparently - though we only got the PG version considering, ya know, television and all. Put a pin in that.

Since Fizz's blowout convo with Moniece (which was actually pretty moving on the last episode) she has apparently been stepping up more. Hell, the girl is even asking to get back on their original joint custody plan of a week on/week off, to which Fizz is like #nahbihplusbihwhoyamanbih. He says he wants to meet with Richie Dollaz who has to be tired of meeting motherfuckers by this point. I mean, it's only been Moniece's mama but he had to meet with her twice and that's just cruel. Anyway, Moniece sets it up for Richie D to meet with Fizz and he reluctantly agrees. But we'll get back to that later bih.

Fizz goes to visit Nikki at one of her clubs to ask her to be in the video for his new Max Lux produced song "Good Lotion" which I think would be better if it were titled "Good Lotion (Shea Butter)". But that's just me. Nikki is apparently too busy to be in his video which, I didn't realize that was a thing and shit considering how Nikki literally does jack shit all day except get in other people's business and not plan this event that she has coming up. Hell, if it wasn't for Hazel, this event would be at a McDonald's parking lot in a neighborhood near you. But she's like, "nope" and then Fizz looks to his left and is like, "ayebih, is that my man Willie's wife up there on that pole?"

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My nigga. It shole is. Also, as a point of note, I realize we got the PG version but I didn't see a single damn thing to make me feel like she had been holding back some millionaire all-world talent of hers which is why she wanted to get back on the pole so badly to provide for her family. She was not a Diamond-esque style stripper. Again, small sample size though.

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Well, Willie who has finally gotten out of his contract is excited to perform at this small showcase that his new manager, Screwface, has set up for him. He invites Fizz and Nikki who jokinly mentioned that Shanda "entertained her enough on stage" to which Willie was like…say what? Nikki is like, "you ain't know your wife was up on my stage bussin' it wide open for real niggas?"

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Willie?

He ain't know.

Of course they start fighting right there with Shanda becoming mad defensive like it its HIS fault she's on that stage because he lied about getting out of his deal because non-sequitur. Because niggas. Willie performs. That's a pun. Heheheh.

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He goes outside to his wife who is standing on the side fo the building with tears running all down her makeup. You know how I know those were real tears (and would not dry on their own)? Because they looked atrocious. She looked a damn mess. She apologizes and tells him that she was just trying to help provide for her family.

Sccrrr.

Let me stop you right there. Youse a lie. You were not trying to provide for your family, nigga. Your lights ain't been turnt off. She loves to pretend like she just ain't want to swing on a pole. Willie better get her one for the house becuase real talk, you cannot keep that woman off one. She is sorry though and Willie pledges to do what he needs to do. I hate them.

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Miles and Milan meet on a beach. Real spit, that's all you need to know about them.

Omarion and Apryl go on the radio. Apryl wants to get back to singing. Well, sang something.

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Rich and Fizz meet up at a restaurant to talk about Rich being in Kameron's life. While we didn't see the whole convo, I truly appreciate Fizz's presence on this show when he's being dad and good guy Fizz. Ladies man Fizz sucks donkey nuts. But that convo with them could have gone left, especially since Rich was more or less prepared for that to be the case. But Fizz kept it about Kameron and said his peace and let Rich speak and say his peace and Rich did say all the right things. You could tell they walked apart with a mutual respect and when introducing kids into the lives of new significant others, really, thats the most you can ask for. Word to Big Bird.

Oh, yeah. Rich got jealous because Moniece hopped up in an oiled up niggas arms during her video shoot for her song "Riches" (which ain't bad). Rich ain't want to see that shit and honestly, Rich kind of seems like he's losing his love for Mo because dealing with her seems to come with a lot. She ain't just a chick with a kid. She's a woman with a kid and a mean left hook and mama drama and a baby daddy drama and people drama and she speaks so well. I feel like her articulateness is what keeps her in the game to be honest. She comes with all of the standard hood style drama (I mean the girl had a restraining order filed against her and she's caught some pressed charges), but she sounds like a girl who knows better. She's the chick you swipe right on then pay for with a left two years later. Box game HAS to be insane.

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So, Hazel is putting on this show for Nikki and Teairra, two people who literally have no fucking clue what they're doing. Teairra is trying to sell those blazers that she keeps wearing and Nikki has some lingerie. Since Hazel realizes that's not really enough to justify a show, she brings in Princess who has her own line of clothing and adds in Milan who is selling drawz. Yes, drawz. In case his "hottest producer in LA" hustle doesn't pan out, he's got his tighty-whitey line to fall back on. Well, Teairra had no idea Princess was involved which is a legit reason to be pissed.

Anyway, that goes badly as you can imagine with lots of insults being hurled around left and right with Hazel amazingly getting the best here. Which almost NEVER happens. Hazel, during her off camera confessional things also had some funny lines. And the truth is, she's right: she WAS just trying to help her freakin' friends out and this is what happened. Teairra ends up getting escorted out by Milan and Teairra hits her with the RIP Teairra Marie.

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Now…let's take a step back here and realize that Teairra Marie is a terrible human being. That's what we've learned about her this season. This means that there's NO way this is the end of this saga.

Which is a perfect segue into next episode where we see that Teirra Marie is on full fledge revenge mode and ready to take that fashion show by storm.

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But in the ODDEST twist, after Nikki says she's too busy to do Fizz's video shoot (seriously, it's one damn day…you spend days doing fake yoga, but you can't be in a video shoot for your boo? Sounds fishy to me), Fizz approaches motherfucking MONIECE to be the woman in his video. Bishwhet? #nahbih WHAT? How does that make any sense? I mean she's a better look than Nikki (who isn't) but Rich is gon' be cool with this? FIZZ IS GON' BE COOL WITH THIS? Ain't that just confusing for everybody? Are they that cool????? Nothing about their interactions makes me think that they're those kind of friends. And of course, in the preview, Moniece is like, "saybihyoueverthinkaboutusbih?"

I can't wait til next week.