Leaving My Kids With Their Dad Was the Best Choice

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"He had his chance during the first part of their lives to make mistakes, get fired from jobs and figure out his formula for success, and now it's my turn, " xoJane's Te-Erika Patterson says of her son's father in a personal essay about a difficult parenting decision. 

What can I say? Life can change in the blink of an eye. You can either mourn the past or create a way to progress and that's what I did.

I had my two sons while still in undergrad, their Dad and I were college loves and I could have sworn we would be together forever. Things didn't work out that way.

He went his way forging ahead in his career as an attorney and I was left behind, still trudging through undergrad with two kids and a part time job.

I managed to finish college with two kids in tow, move back to Miami to live with my parents while I sought out suitable employment. I hopped from job to job, working at a newspaper and then as a customer service rep and then for a private school as a secretary. I managed to pay my bills by myself and we were happy for a while. 

Then I got this itch, this hankering to be more than a secretary. I knew my writing skills could pay my bills but I didn't know how to start …

Read Te-Erika Patterson's entire piece at xoJane. 

The Root aims to foster and advance conversations about issues relevant to the black Diaspora by presenting a variety of opinions from all perspectives, whether or not those opinions are shared by our editorial staff.

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